Interview with Thyself: The Coolest Person I Know

TZ : Hey Tamzen, you’re looking fabulous.

Tamzen: Why thanks, I washed my hair.

TZ:  Oh is that a big deal?

Tamzen:  Hell yeah!  Don’t you know after having a child that you may not even get to brush your teeth until Wednesday.

TZ:  Shhh, you’re scaring all the would be mothers.

Tamzen:  You know what?   I don’t care.  Seriously my friend Penny said if the truth about motherhood was revealed we would never reproduce.  I’m here to change that.

TZ: What, to stop people reproducing?

Tamzen: No you idiot, to inform them of the truth.  Childbirth hurts you know, I mean it freaking hurts lots.

TZ:  I think everyone knows that.

Tamzen: Well yeah, maybe that truth has been exposed but what about the stitches.

TZ: Oh, um I don’t wanna know about that.

Tamzen: That’s my point, I didn’t know.

TZ:  So are you saying you wouldn’t have done it had you known.

Tamzen: No of course I would but…..

TZ: But what?

Tamzen:  Ahhh, seriously, I think I’m gunna have to rethink my approach to the info I’m sharing. Right, here’s the plan, we’ll start off small but we’ll add as we go from a lifestyle to parenting section and even reviews on products, movies and more.  I think we’re going to need help and find a few contributors, experts in their field.

TZ:  Sounds exciting.  I’m in.  Can you tell us, how did you come up with the name, Tamzen Temple?

Tamzen:  Well Micko, my incredibly handsome partner calls me Tamzen.

TZ: Is that not your real name?

Tamzen:  No it’s actually Tamara but he called me that when we first met and now all his network think that’s my name.  I don’t mind.

TZ:  What about the Temple part?

Tamzen:  Ah, well if you notice, Tamzen has ZEN in it.  So Temple followed naturally.   I love the whole Temple part as I want here not to just be a webpage or blog but a place for people to come and enjoy and share the absurdities and tranquillity of life.

TZ: Wow, a place not just a website. You are genius!

Tamzen:  So it’s all about the Temple and we’re wanting to encourage all women to be the Temple Queens they were destined to be, and the men to be Gurus and the children gifts from the Temple Gods.

TZ: Sounds interesting.

Tamzen:  I know.. With the big plans and changes happening  for the site you’ll have to make sure you pop in often and press follow so you don’t miss out.

TZ: Already have.

Tamzen:  Great and I appreciate you all.   Ommmm and peace from the Temple.

TZ:  You do realise you’re not really in a Temple or a Temple Queen?

Tamzen: It’s a virtual world TZ, I can be whoever I want.  You may exit. Ommmm from the Temple.

The End.

 

Image Although I love chatting to myself (come on we all do it)  I’m rather glad and very blessed that I have these two to keep me company. xo   (C) T Zito 2014.

 

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This was a Minterview

What Sort of Biscuit are You?

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What sort of biscuit are you?

The question came about one night while working with a guy called Bob.  “I’m a soft centre biscuit,”  He said.  “Would never hurt anyone.”

Hmm I thought as I looked at the selection.  There were just  too many to choose from, an Oreo, Mint Slice, Anzac, or even some type of cracker.  I found my eyes drawn to the Gingernuts.

“Oh that’s me for sure.” I said and it wasn’t just because of my red hair.  Gingernut biscuits are loved mainly by the older generation.  Those around 50 years old or less, have yet to warm to them fully and anyone younger than that think Gingernuts are just bitter and yuk.

Those on the cusp may buy a packet and have a taste of the bitter biscuit with that hint of sweetness and most likely screw up their face throwing the uneaten half out, but not the packet.  They’ll keep it because they may change their mind.

So that sums me up.  Did I mention I’m a cheap home brand version as well? Yes it’s true because there are simply no frills about me, I’m cheap and reliable.

What sort of biscuit are you?

My friend Jo and I have determined, after definitely agreeing she is one coated in chocolate, that she is a Chocolate Caramel Crown.  My first thought was that she is a Chocolate Royal but she’s even grander than that as she has a golden centre.

I’d love to hear what you are. I’m still trying to figure out what Micko is, hmmm actually thinking about it he’s a pack of Assorted Creams as one isn’t enough to define him.  (Life with him is like a Monte Carlo gamble, and full of Melting Moments. Ahhhh)

I’d love to hear just what sort of biscuit you are and why.

biscuitbiscuit

 

Ommmm & chomp from the Temple.

 

 

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Kitchen Gadgets: More Ridiculous and Useless Items

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Easter Sunday I had to run to the supermarket to gather a few supplies as my kitchen cupboards were bare.  Ninety dollars later I wandered past one of my favorite discount shops and was lured in with red signs promising massive savings.  I  have to avoid these bargain stores as impulse purchases lead to clutter leads to a waste of space and money but I just couldn’t resist.

You can imagine my delight when I found some more useless items, all within the same hanging space.  I looked above as I was certain there would  be a sign directing consumers to take the advice of the Temple before purchasing a ridiculous item but found none.  I got out my phone and snapped away thinking of you all.

  • An avocado keeper:  Oh woe is  me, this is a tricky one to approach as I guy I work with admits his girlfriend has one of these.  When I asked him, “what happens if you only eat a quarter, or if you’re left with a quarter?”  He stared blankly wondering if it was a riddle or a real question. I won’t ever need one of these as the price of avocados has doubled over the duration of my son’s life.  We used to squander three or four a week between us in his early days.  Now he looks up and me and asks, “where’s the ‘cado mum?” A now distant memory and   it’s not because we don’t have a keeper, it’s because they are overpriced.  And for the love of the Temple, who needs a special slicer for these pale green delights?
  • A cucumber hat.  Keep them fresh for longer.  To all you people that purchase fruit and vegetables or have leftover food, there is a product called Clingwrap. It’s thin plastic that you can wrap around any sort of food to keep fresh.  There are also snap bags if you want to go that way.

I wonder if the other vegetables and fruit in the fridge just hate that the avocado has a special belted coat or are they green with envy of the cucumber with that special little hat.

Oh hang on, food is meant to be eaten, not adorned with ridiculous outfits to keep longer.  I now know what happens when we shut the fridge door and the light goes out.  Well it doesn’t dim at all,  but instead a runway gets rolled out and all the fruit and veggies with their coats and hats parade the latest ridiculous purchases of their owners.

But where in life a jacket can last a life time, these stupid storers outlast the needs of the people using them not just  the fruit that lies on them.  These plastic fad items won’t decompose instead they stay forever in landfill.

  • A strawberry huller,  um I thought the stems where nature’s handles as you hold them and gulp them down, or just USE A KNIFE please.
  • I should have read the instructions but from what I could see it would take more skill to get the egg in the hole to than to separate it.  I’d love to hear from any adult that seriously has trouble separating eggs.  Sure there is a bit of skill involved but it’s a skill you might learn in your teens, if you haven’t by then, go ahead and be lured into all these or give it a go.  I always feel a sense of victory when I separate and don’t get any yolk or shells in the white.  (It’s the small victories)
  • A hard boiled egg without the shell maker.  Manufacturers, a warning.  stop interfering with the way nature intended things to be, throw out the shell afterward, no dishes.

Just remember the rules of these purchases.  If you don’t have a look on our first post of ridiculous items.

strawberry hullerIMG_4517egg separator 

 

Chi and zen to all

Ommm and Ohhh please don’t buy.

Check out our orignal list of ridiculous and useless items under CHI lifestyle

Xo Tam

All About Me: Tamzen Temple

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Welcome to the Temple,

I was born in the US in an incredible story that began a trail of misfortune.  A nurse intern, who was more focused on the hot doctor than filling out forms correctly, put the wrong tag on my ankle and I was sent home or at least on the road in a caravan with a couple called Jack and Shirley.

They would travel from town to town performing a duet show at local cowboy bars.  I’d be shoved in a box behind the bar for the show and for this I became a placid baby as no one could hear my cries over the barfights and screeching sound of Shirley’s yodels.

It was at one of these bars when I was three, as I stood near the guitar case dressed in my rodeo outfit  collecting tips, that a talent agent spotted me.  My prayers were answered because we were out of the bars and into studios with me starring in commercials advertising everything from toothpaste to life insurance.  Shirley and Jack bought a house and for the first time we were a real family.

It was the happiest two years of my life before Shirley died of eye shadow poisoning; the blue shimmering  kind had metallics in it that were meant for street cars not skin.  Jack and I were devastated until a hooker like woman called Marlene came along to ease his pain.

The joy was short lived as it turned out ….. click below to read more.

All About Me..

 

 

 

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Welcome to the Tamzen Temple

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Welcome to the Tamzen Temple.

You are all Temple Queens and I’m so glad you are here.

Now you’re here at the Temple, I hope you enjoy my look on life,  I pray that you’ll share and encourage your friends to follow and I know together we can all laugh and maybe make the world a better place by just being nice.  Yep, that’s the mantra here at the Temple.  Just be nice. OK!

It sounds simple enough but with our lives busier than ever we sometimes forget to stop and take in the moments, we often miss the opportunity to help when it’s right in front of us and most importantly we should always remember  be thankful for what we have and what others do for us.

Although the old saying ‘actions speak louder than words’ may be true, it’s kinda nice to say thanks and let those around you know that you appreciate not just what they do but the unique beings they are. Create your own Temple right were you are, in your home.

I will share with you both the real of my life and maybe a little fun fiction.  You can decide to believe which is which.  I’d love to hear your  comments and experiences.

Peace to all. Ommmm and Ahhhh xx

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