Funny Blog Funny Blogs

Funny Blog and Funny Blogs in The World.

So I got to thinking how absolutely funny I am.  Sometimes I sit writing my posts and I laugh and laugh and laugh and the Guru says, “what’s funny?”

And I answer…. “I am.”

He rolls his eyes and goes back to kitchen to bake me cookies……

This guy Jack I work with says that without modesty I will never be successful but I’ve done the whole modest thingy and best I come clean and admit that I am freaking funny…. If only to myself that is.

But then I got chatting to my friend Ronnie Peace and we looked up funny blogs and neither of us appeared on top or on the next 40 pages.  This was alarming to us both because we know we are hilarious.. Maybe I should look up hilarious blogs and I would be number one.

Maybe he should look up strange, odd funny blogs and he would be number one also…

So I am writing this specifically to use the tag ‘funny blogs’.

I have a funny blogs.  (I say funny blogs rather than funny blog because if anyone is searching for a funny blog they will include an s to widen their search)

I have a satire blogs.  (again an s)  See if I include these words in the main text and in the heading and  tags I should come up higher in the search.

Funny blogs.

OK that was just an extra one thrown in to get the words funny blog onto at least the first page.

Now stop for a moment because if you have a list this is also handy for SEO

A list of facts surrounding funny blogs on the web

  1. Tamzen Temple has a funny blog.
  2. I know of a funny blog and it can be found at http://tamzentemple.com.au
  3. Of all the funny blogs I have seen Tamzen Temple’s is the funniest.
  4. Funny blogs alongside pancakes can assist in curing sadness.
  5. George Clooney thinks Tamzen Temple has a funny blogs.

Now there are other funny blogs but in the world where mummy blogs, food blogs, current affair satire blogs or fitness blogs: funny blogs like mine can get lost and not fully appreciated by people who love funny blogs.

You can sometimes use the tag or key word to often and that can work against you but I’ll take a risk on this page, my funny blogs.

Now I can be serious on my funny blogs but I aim to make you smile a little and get away from the serious.

My whole line is ‘writer of the ridiculous to highlight the ridiculous.’

I do this to take a serious subject and expose it for being just silly.  Like for example when Paul McCartney was unknown to Kanye’s fans.

That’s just silly.

Or

The blogger Belle faking her illness.  That is beyond ridiculous and I don’t make light of what she done but  highlight the ridiculous that the media didn’t do the research earlier.

So I do have a funny blogs…

Here’s the headline… Tamzen Temple is the funniest blogs.  (had to get the actual blog name in…) I also am extremely hilarious on my Instagram page..

Whew.  So if you know someone who is looking for a funny blogs direct them my way.

Oh and then I can profit from the billions of views that all the other non funny but informative blogs make and update it and make it look as awesome as it is funny.

Don’t you want me.. my funny blogs to look pretty?

Funny blogs.

Oops sorry…..

The end.

xoxoxo from the funny blogger Tamzen Temple

Definition of funny bloggers can be found in the Temple Dictionary.

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Why I Don’t Believe in Soul Mates

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Soul Mates??

Oh yes you are thinking how can a Temple Queen be so pessimistic.

I’m not being negative at all, I’m being realistic.  Yes I believe in absolute love,  I believe in finding the perfect match for yourself, for that moment and the moment hopefully will be a very long one.

I cannot imagine the Micko the Guru and me ever being apart. We were possibly destined to grow old together but I’m sure he’s not the only one for me in the world and I bet you there would be dozens who he could live happily ever after with.

Come on… the world is a huge place and I have to laugh just a little when I see Tinder type ads or newly together couples saying , “I met my soul mate on line, at the local bar, at my work, doing a fun run, drunk at the side of the ride.” I’m sure you did but there’s probably an equally great match across the seas in a far away land who you could be happy with, who you could love and be loved back by.

I mean isn’t the presumption of a soul mate one that is so in your soul, so in tune with you that the stars align with every kiss and you finish one another’s sentences.  Soul itself has such a religious connotation to it that for me as a Spireligiousalien practicing type person, it would be wrong to use the term soul mate without feeling I’m disrespecting any Catholic or Christian….

Wow. Extraordinary to think that in a world of 300 billion.. (figures most likely inaccurate, see why here) that the person next door or that guy at the pub down the road or that person you met overseas who just happens to be from the same state is your soul mate.

I’m sure there is someone else out there that could love me…. I’m certain there is.. I mean I’m endearing and hilarious and on the other side of young but so is everyone else that side…. I like long pina coladas and getting caught in the rain……

I’m sure there would be other men for me and providing they smelt as good and were equally as handsome… or at least that x factor of attraction you can never pinpoint that I have with the Guru…..

These other possible matches for me somewhere in the world would probably possess qualities the Guru doesn’t that I so desire in a partner  like going to the supermarket for milk or noticing that the floor needs a sweep, bringing me home takeaway instead of bringing it home for himself and just assuming I didn’t want any……..

He has a whole lot of faults the Guru… Once I was changing the tyre on my car and he came out and said in his dashing heroic way…  “Let me help.”

I was saved, my white knight….until he just loosened the bolts and said “that’ll make it easier.”  He then went back in to watch the cricket.

Or much the same when I was changing a washer on a tap.. “Let me help” once again as I was sucked into his vortex of manliness only to be disappointed when he went to the shed, came back and said. “You’ll find this tool will make it much easier.”

He says he does this in case he should ever mysteriously die and I will be self sufficient and never ever need another man…..

Even worse just recently during a long, long bout with a cough and cold and flu and possible bubonic plague.. because that’s what it felt like….. He decided that he’d like to leave the ‘in sickness’ out of our wedding vows as he doesn’t do sick very well..

I knew he was kidding.. he would be there every second if it was serious but seriously he is the worst in non emergency sick situations…

The Guru hardly ever takes out the bins on bin night either…. He believes with his non dark past that if there ever should be a hit put on his life that bin night is the one predictable night that the assasins can carry it out and just can’t take the risk.. So he send me out instead….

This is not soul mate behavior……

No one is ever going to be absolutely perfect but it’s about balancing one another and not getting bored and I mentally torture the Micko the Guru with this and instead of saying in a love lorn way of “we’re going to be together forever, grow old as one.”

I remind him… “If we live until we’re ninety, that’s another 46 years of much the same.. Are happy with that?”

Of course he replies “well when you put it like that….”  or “don’t remind me..” or ponders in his deep smoking, hot, intense, thought process (even when he thinks he’s handsome)  and says, “that is a lot of years isn’t it?…”  as a tear trickles down his cheek.. In happiness I think.

We actually met at a strip club where I was working..

Now I wasn’t actually stripping. I was interviewing one of my superstar friends whose choice of an office was a chair in front of a pole with an athletic amazon upside down on it…..

The Guru was a topless waiter/bouncer there for the girls and our eyes met across the room and he wondered over and said…”You look like a beer type girl…”

I answered back… “I do like beer….. Now let me get you out of here… away from this life. These ogling eyes.”

He came home with me that night and never left..

I did hide his passport, licence and other cards to ensure he stayed around…….

I can’t say much more about his whole strip club history until legal proceedings finish….. I mean Magic Mick may not have the same catchy movie title to it but the story was much the same…..

Anywho…. Oh the mix of attraction.  The Guru to me is the biggest spunk, big heart, the best dad and everything I ever wanted…  while others may have a star exemption I truly have none, want none as to me he is the ants pants..

Star exemption you ask. Well I’m sure all couples have one or two.  For example, if Miranda Kerr should ever ask Micko out or to marry her, we have agreed that I will step aside and not get in his way of happiness…..

Jessica Alba also has right of way and so did Liz Hurley until she hooked up with Warnie and now Micko wants nothing to do with her.  I think it may be the fear that she’ll make him get botox over anything else and well… Warnie being a leg splitter and all has turned him off Liz a little…Oh correction.. leg spinner. I never understood cricket.

I am certain should this star opportunity ever happen that Magic Mick the Guru would run to the hills in fear of supermodel Miranda and her superpowers of that country girl personality with a city lifestyle mystic beauty.   He would freak out if it really happened but should it happen I would fade into the background for no one owns anyone, no one is responsible for anyone and I have learnt  after any loss you cry and cry for a while and readjust to new life… or die….

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I believe that a perfect partner can walk by you everyday but if you’re madly in love with someone, totally absorbed in the loveliness they are you may not see them because the one you’re with at that moment is the perfect partner, everyone else is invisible.

I believe there is more than one person for everyone because there are a whole lot of nice people out there, a whole lot of unhappy couples who are with their ‘soul mates’ who they have grown to despise, a heap of singles still looking, a lot of singles quite content in their own company.

A guy I know Jack says Micko has   Stockholm Syndrome….

That may be so but we are living our happily ever after………

Is your partner held hostage and never allowed to leave the house without a tracking device?  Are you with your soul mate or do you have a sole sister?

Am I being terrible and unromantic?  Do you believe in soul mates?  Do tell… scroll, scroll down to let me know.

Peace and Ommmmm and lots of rosy love and kisses. xoxoxo

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