As many of you know I was a former supermodel and that after the pumpkin shoot my modelling career came to an end.
Well exciting things have been happening lately as I have been in and out of jobs and once again my former peers are calling me a supermodel.
I was approached by the Generic Elastic Hair Company to model their latest hair tie. The brief was tough. They wanted it to scream fashion and on trend. I knew I could do it and had my poses planned long before the actual shoot.
As usual I was amazing and captured the look.
I alone managed to embody the pure necessity of a hair-tie conveniently worn by millions of women around their wrist ‘just in case.’
The campaign was a success and since then I have been hot property in the Mundane Modelling Industry.
Other supermodels won’t go there but I carved a niche for myself with designers embracing my talent for making mundane fashion items look extraordinary.
The picture below is one taken through the winter season to promote tissues of course.
Where there is a stigma of germs and snot, I manage to make the humble tissue a fashion must have and many women begged to be coughed on by those with festy flus to try to get the smoking dazey look I created.
A friend of mine named Gucci Mustav, who happens to be a top designer in Paris, had a baby about eight months ago.
Oh she is amazing and has designed couture gowns for royalty.
Now for anyone with a new baby you will know that the lack of sleep can make you delirious and I fear this is what happened.
She wanted to make a difference to the lives of mothers everywhere and make multipurpose fashion wear. She had good intentions and being a compassionate supermodel, I went along and donated my time to model her Tea Towel Scarf. She thought it would be great for mums worldwide to own one and was near failure until I showed the world just how to wear it with my blue steel looks..
It was a hit and the millionaires who knew nothing about tea towels scooped them up at $2000 a piece.
The hype died down as did her clothes dryer, as did her housekeeper. All dead in the same week, she had to actually hang her own clothes on the line and found herself with pegs attached to her clothes for easy reach when the Peg Princess Range was launched.
Once again her critics laughed at the idea. Once again I saved the day by using my stunning looks, heaps of filters and photo editing to make the mundane amazing.
I did glamour, royalty, rock chick and even boho. They have been flying off the shelf and I am now near booked for the rest of the year with famous and emerging designers knowing I the most must have item in mundane fashion.
I’ll end with a quote from Veri Wang. She was desperate for a model, I was there…..
Ms Temple is like a cheap wine. She may not get better with age but is great alternative when the house is dry.
I’ll drink to that.
Peace and Ommm from the Temple.
See my latest mundane modelling assignment for Chux
Coincidences often happen at the Temple and two weeks ago I had this guest post written by the stunning Miss Vee Pretty Belle Bloom ready to go. Apparently being beautiful has its pitfalls (I myself have never suffered or experienced this) but since getting Miss Vee to write this it has been revelaed that another pretty girl Felicia Czochanskihas had to face scrutiny for admitting she too battles the chronic condition of beauty.
Both have been the target of vicious tweets and had to find inner strength to deal with the battle.
Here it is written by the pretty girl herself.
Miss Vee Pretty Belle Bloom
I have struggled all my life being beautiful. When I was young people would often point out that I was the pretty one out of my sister and I.
She would often cry when hearing this and throw her toys at the mirror when she looked at her ugly self but it was really me who suffered as I had to deal with this internal and external battle of beauty.
My sister was extremely intelligent and although I pretend to be intelligent any bit of intelligence I had was pushed aside.
I wore pretty dresses, ribbons in my hair and I didn’t realise that this would lead to all sorts of assumptions that I could get through life on my looks alone.
As I got older it got harder. I would be automatically chosen for school plays based on my looks, not for my talent, picked by the most popular boys for formals and pointed out as an example of what good hair and skin looks like during human development.
Because of my incredibly flawless beauty I have lost the ability to do the most simple of things. This has put me at a disadvantage in life and although I struggle at times, I will not let this disability of beauty get in the way of me living a full and active life.
I forgot how to do simple tasks as those around me jumped at the chance to do them for me. I no longer knew how to open a door as so many men rushed to open it for me when I approached, that I recently got stuck at work when I was the last to leave.
I was missing for three nights as it was over the weekend. I was found on the Monday morning in lunch room trying to change the channel of the microwave with a cordless phone. (Who knew such a thing existed?)
Other obstacles I have to deal with are:
No idea of money as so much of what I have is paid for by sugar daddies and those trying to get laid.
Inability to turn a tap on as I am fully reliant on bottled Evian or Voss, not only be hydrated or to keep my skin glowing but to look amazingly fashionable doing so.
I am unable to deal with the big issues like split ends or a small pimple. I however do not let this get in the way of my life but instead book in for a full makeup application at Mac with a trim and blow wave followed by GHD straightening.
Inability to experience the basics of life that others may take for granted such as doing the dishes or making a bed. I cannot risk breaking a fingernail.
Painful calves.. These are a common symptom of beautiful people and a few ugly ones that wear heels. They are a vital part of our survival and we cannot run or move fast with the heels being a massive impairment. (I am currently campaigning for disability stickers to be available to us beautiful people so we can park close to the shops to lessen the burden)
Mood swings: these can come about if a favorite shade of lipstick is discontinued, if I miss my spray tan appointment or there is any fluctuation in my perfect size 6.
I am inundated with offers from modelling agents but refuse to be labelled and go down this path. I will not allow society to put me in a box and make me wear designer clothes to be displayed in magazines and billboards. I will however continue to wear them and display what I wore, on Instagram to my one billion followers and get paid over inflated rates to do so.
I hope to raise awareness in this area of beauty discrimination that is overlooked and often looked over, up and down often.
Until then I pray that I will not be the subject of favourable actions by people, especially men just because I am gorgeous and really pretty unless they are actual real tangible expensive gifts or vouchers. (I prefer vouchers, or diamonds)
I want the government to look at funding programs to educate people not to stare for more than five seconds at us stunning people. It makes us doubt ourselves and if their stares linger, I have to take a selfie to check I haven’t got anything stuck in between my teeth or to if I have parted my hair the right way to the most flattering side. The stares really play with my brain and then I have to think.
I also want to lessen the gap between the beautiful like myself and the unfortunate ugly people.
They don’t have the funds to maintain their regrowth which is unsightly or keep their wardrobe updated and wearing fashion from three seasons ago will make them look even more undesirable and unless we get the funds for them in fashion, hair and eradicate blue eye shadow and thick eyeliner, the cycle will continue. They should all be given free gym memberships so we don’t have to look at their muffin tops and this will bring us closer together. (Not in the same caliber but closer)
When I asked V. Pretty Belle Bloom about the internet trolls she answered simply.
I will block those who make nasty comments on social media or show them my intelligence through my intelligence comments..
We thank Miss Vee for her contribution and pray to the Temple Gods that she humbles just a little.
It does annoy me a little however.
We encourage women to share their stories and when they don’t fall in line to what societal rules of being compassionate to the sensitivities of every possible sector, we condemn and make them feel like we need to teach them a lesson, make them run and hide in disgrace. Felicia has since closed her Instagram account and no doubt retreated from the hounds.
Show a woman overweight we embrace her for loving her body, show woman happy with her skinny frame we assume it will make others feel inferior and say it’s sending the wrong message.
Give Felicia (but not Miss Vee) a break, she’s telling a story, her story. Like any young person they learn lessons the hard way. They may be absolutely valid in her mind and self-absorbed she may seem, we learn from others even if we don’t agree. Soon we won’t know the real truth to anything as we will be bound to what we think people want to hear and fear scrutiny.
Anywho… I believe that everyone is pretty damn gorgeous. It’s not about a look but a confidence of acceptance to yourself and then you can glow like the beaming moon.
Meow: Cats freak me out a little. There I said it out loud for everyone to hear and all the world to judge me..
I love animals but cats are a bit too smart for me and they know I am not a cuddly type person and they try to change me. If I ever venture into the home of a cat owner, their cat/s take it on themselves to jump on my lap and make themselves comfy. It freaks me out to have a warm creature on my lap.
“They like you” The ‘owners’ say.
Well the Guru likes you but you don’t see him jumping on your lap. We’ve only just met for God’s sake and all that slinky fur, meowing, witch connotation, Grumpy/Fat/Felix the cat and the claws that once scratched me as a child have turned me into a cat avoider.
“Please remove this warm patch off my lap.” I try to enter their heads with telekinesis but they don’t hear. “I told Bronzy not to stand on your couch. Let’s swap. I’ll hold my child and the cat can jump on the couch. Fair?”
I’m also a bit of a germaphobe so I don’t want a smooch with any animal that carry dead birds or mice.
Pleeeeasssee note. I like cats I think they are cute and kittens absolutely adorable but I’m more of a dog or plant person, not a patter or a holder.
Cats are too delicate for this clumsy Temple Queen and there’s only one queen in my temple and that’s me. A cat would surely take the title if I allowed one in the home.
Spiders and cats both intimidate me because they have such confidence, such style and you never know what they’ll do next. I have catnaphobia….
So here’s a list of cats that may enter the Temple
Cat Stevens: Oh Yusuf Cat… you really do have all the right words to my heart or at least do when I’m drunk or high. I feel those words man and you really do understand my pain, my emotion and show the story, not just tell it. Peace brother and moonshadow the cat in the cradle away. xoxo
Kit Kat: Chocolate, wafer…. and although spelt with a K, I forgive you and love you all the same because I can eat you….
Meercats: You guy and girls are not mere at all. You’re the most and are so funny to watch and that ‘compare the market/meerkat’ is adorable…
Catapillar: Metamorphis is my most favorite word and how cool is it that you are willing to change. You’re awesome and they even named a earthmoving truck thingy company after you.
Cat in the Hat: Coolest dude. Why wasn’t I given you as a child? I was robbed and love all the ridiculous things about you. You should come to Australia and run for PM. Your chances are good.
Cat Deely: You can come visit but I’ll make sure Micko is out of the house as you’re too pretty and tall and blonde. Not that I’m at all threatened.. I mean we’re so different. I’m short, brunette colored red bumpy hipped chick who likes Kit Kats. And also an alert.. The Guru loves to dance and would bombard you with his dance moves to try and move up the ladder in the competition.
The Cat Empire: I would so like to see you live. How do you all fit in a car? Where did you come up with that name. Who cares you guys are the bomb. The music, the sounds, the coolness.
Cat Mario Game: I have no idea what this is.. I hate gaming so you can only come for a short stay as I’m half Italian and you are half Mario.
Cat on a Hot Tin Roof: This is that strange movie with lots of yelling and Paul Newman, Elizabeth Taylor getting lucky at the end in hope to score a baby in her belly. The whole Big Daddy thing also freaks me as any cat would but Paul Newman was hot before the whole mayonnaise thing.. Now even hotter with all that charity money he gives. Bless his heart.
Cat Woman: Black latex and purring. You wicked woman.
Cat Zingano: How could I refuse you. You are freaking tuff and scary. Come over anytime you power woman. U Freaking Champion……
Cat Ballou: Oh go check out Jane Fonda at her absolute best and most beautiful. A classic movie.
Anywho. One of the problems with cats is that they are taking over the internet, TV and they are outshining me. All the hard work of creating gets overshadowed by cats…
Ohhh I’m not jealous or bitter but how many more cat gifs and vids can we see before they truly take over the world.
Micko is a frustrated, I mean he’s an out of work actor.. Now if he was a cat he would be on screen constantly but no!! The time he spent studying acting in Hollywood and OZ means nothing.. The cats get first click and well.. he’s kinda lost the plot with it all.
So we made this cat video. “What this cat does next” Is his way of admitting defeat. May the cats rule the world.
So every now and then I get a touch of the serious bug…
I always feel lucky never to have had anything bad happen to me.. Sure things have happened to others around me, close to me that has impacted my life but never directly to me.
I have dodged any illness, death, disaster, poverty and live on the line of nothing extraordinary and nothing tragic. Stuck safely in the middle and I’m certain the Guru may say that by writing these words I will jinx myself but sometimes I get confused by life and have to get this pent up angst out.
For me there are some things where there is no middle just the obvious. There’s good and bad, fair and unfair , black and white and I find it hard to understand how anyone can see grey areas in certain situations. Obvious, apparent, evident and nothing in between, above or below.
However there are still people who argue for a cause and make judgment on what should be obvious, apparent, evident to be as it is… good or bad, fair or unfair, tragic or victorious.
Here’s a list I compiled of things that should just be seen for what they are.
A little innocent boy washed ashore dead trying to escape persecution.
There, obvious yes. No arguments?
However some people who are against assisting boat people, people who will still have opinions such as this.
Boat people are coming into our country and will probably end up terrorists.
If boat people are rich enough to pay for the trip they should pay through the legal channels and go through the right process to immigrate.
‘White’ immigrants like British backpackers working or others that look like us should be able to gain citizenship because they speak english and the transition would be easier for us all.
They are queue hopping.
They want to sponge of our system.
They should wait their turn, things can’t be that bad and if they loved their country they should stay there and fight for it..
Our systems are already strained and taking in these people will add to that. (Translation: best let them die or rot elsewhere)
BTW… a little boy washed ashore. DEAD. His parents were so fearful for his life for their lives they decided to risk the obvious danger because a small chance of survival would be better than the agonising fear they lived with each day. His mother and brother also died.
I don’t believe he is the face of terrorism, I wish he was here putting a strain our system and tell us one day of his mighty journey to escape the danger of his country… or wherever his family hoped they would end up.
I understand that we can’t take all of ‘them, those others’ but this is all about the attitude of those who disregard the human rights and forget that these refuges are actually people not just a story in a newspaper.
I cannot imagine what it would be like to live on the streets let alone living on the streets in the middle of winter.
I freeze withough my electric blanket and pump the heater up despite the high cost.
There are some who think this of homeless people:
They are just scum who should get a job.
Why would they ‘choose’ to live on the streets?
Don’t they have a home to go to?
I don’t want their begging directed at me. It’s embarrassing when I don’t have change and makes me feel uncomfortable.
If I give them anything they’ll expect it the next time.
Don’t make eye contact.
Wow… I don’t think anyone would choose to be homeless.
I get sad not knowing their stories, not being able to help them more than a coin here or there. I try to explain to my son that not everyone has a home to go to and we talk about how lucky we are to have a house and warm clothes.
Be it a series of unfortunate events that lead them there, drugs or mental illness I pray for them and admire all those awesome volunteers who run soup kitchens and homeless shelters. I hope one day to do more.
I loved that my little boy came home one day and asked why a little boy at his school had chocolate skin and wanted me to paint him because he thought it was cool. I said it’s just like mummy has brown eyes and daddy has green and that we are all a little different whether it be tall, short, male, female, blonde hair or brown just as some people are rich or poor but ultimately we are all exactly alike because we all people and should love exactly who we are.
But there are those who feel
White or the same as them makes them feel more comfortable.
White is superior.
Anyone who looks different must mean trouble.
The culture behind a race is full of stereotypical connotations and the negatives to these are stronger than the positives in a racist person’s mind.
We don’t want all these ‘different’ people in our county.
The mix of race and religions is destined to end in disaster.
What I don’t understand is in a country such as Australia, where we all are from somewhere……
It’s like living in a small town. Until you have been there five generations you’re not a local. Well none of us are locals except for the indigenous Australians so maybe there is a black and white. There are them, the blacks that were here first then all of us whites and multi colored who claim we own the country and have the intelligence and right to reject others.
Luckily I’m here as my grandparents are Italian, so please don’t send me back…… Although I have heard it is beautiful there. Micko the Guru’s mum is English, please don’t send him back either.
I can picture the scenario. A man/woman as a child says.. I want to be a munged out druggo living on the streets when I grow up..I want to lose my teeth and scratch holes in my skin. I want to steal off those I love and possibly harm and kill.. I will leave my kids in foster care because I am having the time of my life on ice. I can’t wait.
The truth. We all addicts of sorts… Be it our routine coffee, jog, smoothie, chocolate, coke, sugar, adrenaline,
Here’s a few assumptions about druggies:
It’s a choice..
Let them rot.
They are all scum and of a certain type.
If they really wanted to give up they could.
They must come from a scumbag family.
Cut off their money and that will stop them.
It’s their own fault for even starting drugs.
It would never happen in my family.
I hope this will never happen in my family but face reality that someone will face the battle. Pills, Ice, dope are everywhere. In one bad moment, one tragic event, in weakness, in adventure, in temptation, in desperation, it could happen.
Simple really. Just let them get married already. It’s about love and I can’t believe that I read this week that they have just changed the law in Victoria for those charged with consensual gay sex, that they can now have historic convictions removed. WADDA!!!
How absolutely heartbreaking to think that being gay was once a crime and many were charged. They have had to live with these convictions which could have possibly impacted their lives in ways of employment and judgments from those who base their life around what is law.
There are people who think: (In regard to gay marriage)
It is against their religion. (OK.. Although I don’t understand this, I can almost respect their belief but take the religion argument out of it….)
It’s unnatural. (Wadda)
If we allow gay marriage then the Muslims will want the law changed to allow them to marry three wives.
If we allow gay marriage we may have to eventually allow polygamy outside of religious beliefs.
If we allow gay marriage it may lead to cross marriages of man and robot.
If we allow gay marriage it could lead to mixed marriage of man and animal. (sheep, cow etc)
I kid you not these are some of the lame, ridiculous arguments I have heard.
I sometimes wonder if I am in a bizarro world and hope I wake up as I ponder how am I going to raise my child with the qualities of empathy, understanding, embracing diversity, equality and happiness when there are so many unwarranted variants among us.
I will make these things black and white to him because they will seem like no big deal.. a no brainer when it comes to seeing people as people not immigrants, disabled, gay, old, druggies and so on and so on and so on….. hopefully no more labels will be made.
Peace and OMG I pray for that little boy washed ashore and all the small minded people.