Dear Me: A Letter to the Younger Me.

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Dear Younger Me…

To the younger me,

The seventeen year old me….. not the four year old me because you can’t read yet.. So the seventeen year old me might be best, although you may not listen so I’ll make it the twenty five year old younger me.

Why are you reading this letter?  Do you have some sort of mental condition to believe that you can read letters from the future, younger me?

Are you a time traveller? If so can you come to here, the current time, but first go past the current me to the seventy five year old me to tell me any mistakes I might make?

But really, you younger me….

What really do you expect to learn from reading a letter from the future.?

I don’t think it will matter what I tell you as you will either do two things..

You may not listen and live your life just as you have.

Or you may be influenced by what I tell you and therefore change the fate of others through not being me of the past therefore you will alter the course of your destiny.

So there…

I am actually rather happy with who I am and who you were, so although there were crap moments, missed opportunities and bad hair, they all led you to where I am and you are today.

I do however want to tell you a few vital bits of what will happen to you as at the time I was shocked and you will be more prepared to handle them.

You actually were kidnapped by the government and fitted with robotic legs so you could jump to the moon and a prosthetic eye that allowed you to see around and through the world.

You married a robot called  Ultron and had babies that were cross bred and looked like humans with Toyota qualities.

Kidding. I’m just f&%$ing with your brain.  At least you can see you turned out hilarious, funny and extremely talented with letter writing.

But back to the truth.
If you had not experienced all the f&%$ ups then you or I would not be me and with these you are actually rather awesome at 45.

You, dear younger me have a rather high opinion of yourself and believe you are a Temple Queen.

Oh younger me, you like who you are and are a world famous blogger.  You do fake interviews with real superstars and will meet a big spunk called Micko the Temple Guru who is a big hottie.

Together you will become the creative minds you were destined to be.

So don’t freaking rush it. He had lessons to learn before meeting you so leave him alone until then.

I beg you not to read this letter or change anything because I would not be the me of today if you did.

I wish I could write a letter to the future me and there I would tell myself where I left my keys and if I will end up in a real Temple.

xo Love you, I mean me….

Peace and Ommmni.

xoxo

younger me

What would you say to the younger you??? I’d love to know. Scroll scroll down and tell me please. xo

 

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Not A Sponsored Post

Instagram, Blogs & Sponsored Posts

With all the fuss about disclosure of products on blogs and sponsored post, the whole Instagram debacle of  Social Influencers charging a bundle of cash to post a pic… I thought it would be nice to give back to the retail world and my readers by doing a photo review with a difference for no payment or product being gifted.

Essena O’Neil recently revealed the startling truth that her pics on Instagram were highly photo shopped, filtered and not the ‘real world’… Ummmm I thought that was obvious to most.  I Juno or Chrome away, increase the black point but not before I highlight  my wrinkles to a nice fade, lux it up and end in a nice vignette….  Sounds like a French salad..

Anywho… Back to Essena who was probably much the same as most social influencers.  They received products and payments for a pic.   But more on that later.

As a Temple Queen with little fashion sense and a stylist fashion designer, Gucci Mustav,  we thought we would collaborate together, her designs, my mundane modelling to bring you another product  turned into fashion with a useful purpose (PTIFWAUP) at the same time.

The Chuxress : Not Sponsored

not a sponsored post funny blogs

 

We have taken it upon ourselves to start a not sponsored campaign…. (mainly because no one has heard of me other than a community in Jamaica, Istanbul, Kazakhstan and a bunch of lovely Canadians)

The Chux company know nothing of it, in fact they would probably prefer for us to leave their handy wipes alone but lack of sleep and champagne and spillage, often leads to the best inventions.

Gucci Mustav has done it again and of course so have I with my staggering talent and beauty to bring you the Chuxress..  (A cross of Chux & Dress said drunk)  Yes you won’t be able to say it but you can wear it.

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Mothers will no longer have to worry about those sticky, grubby little fingers approaching them.  A dirty face.. no stress just Chuxress it up.

A spill and you just can’t be F*&^ walking to the sink to grab a sponge.  Just Chuxress it up. (Please note, sponge accessory in pic an optional extra)

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Red wine on the floor… just roll around and Chuxress it up.
We got excited during the shoot and thought we would take it one step further and come up with a slogan for the campaign.
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Mess With Me

Gucci thought “don’t mess with me” should be written boldly. But then together we thought, freaking go ahead  and try… Thus the   “Mess with Me” slogan stuck.

Now back to all those Social Influencers.

We just figured that with the over inflated fees that Instagramers/Social Influencers were charging, we would do it for free.
I mean I had a quote for one Social Influencer to post a pic for a company I worked for.  It was going to cost us $750 plus the $250 worth of product, to simply have a pic live on their Instagram feed for 48 hours.

Real estate in Sydney is at an all time high but to keep this pic live, I would have to pay $50 per week for a wee little square patch……200,000 more followers but really…

Essena certainly started at a young age and the pressure may have been great but she would have surely made a heap of money in doing a job that was a lot less physical or underpaid than most teens her age.  She went back through each post and edited it to the real truth.  I wonder if she refunded any money paid by sponsors or buyers to that small square.

It’s time there was more exposure on what these insane Social Influencers are charging, they should disclose they are getting paid and followers should really understand they probably never even touch their own Instagram accounts and view any comments but rather let a manager do it for them and decide who is worthy …. (Someone with money)… To appear on the IG account.

These managers allow troll comments to stay and bickering among followers to happen never mediating these conversations or better still, just deleting comments and blocking these trolls because they are a number.  A number that can draw more deals.

not a sponsored post funny blogs

And here I am giving Chux a few squares on Instagram and a post for free….

Just watch sales increase to an extra 3 this week Chux. You’ll thank me.

BTW Chux is great and really comfy to wear.  I bet Chux Blue will be on the Patone Color Chart’s most popular next season along with the runways…

Peace and Ommmg …. realise that that superstar that followed you or liked your Instagram pic was probably automated to the hashtag famous or cute.

That’s a whole other post.

If you have a product you would like me to be a mundane model for, email me : tamzentemple@gmail.com

And do you like my dress? I’d love to know.
Scroll scroll down and tell me what’s the most practical thing you wear?

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Not A Mummy Blogger: Blog Secrets

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Blogger Secrets and Success

OK!! Here it is. So many fans, billions of fans ask me constantly, Tamzen Temple … How did you begin your blogging journey?

Today I took the time to reflect on this and put together this informative, ridiculous vlog to explain all things blogging.

I tell you why I was in blogger denial and why being a blogger isn’t so bad.

I reveal why I’m not a mummy blogger…  Although the title pic probably speaks for itself.

I give you insight to the blogging world and I reveal the truth behind blogging myths.

If you want to know how bloggers create Instagram content then you should click on my new vlog.

Please note… I have no idea what I’m talking about most of the time and cannot take responsibility if you follow any of my advice.

 

So what did you think. Do you feel more confident now to create awesome Instagram content?

Do you want to begin being a blogger?  It’s a wonderful, time consuming world that no one can prepare you for. Just jump in and do it.

Join me on YouTube for future pointless vlogs and mini-temple movies.

Are you a blogger?  Are you going to start blogging?
I’d love to know. Scroll scroll down to tell me all your thoughts.

xoxoxo Tamzen Temple…. Blogger.

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The Theory of Nice.

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Nice, Niceties and Notorious

Nice:  A generic word often used to describe an average situation, person or place in life.  Nice is not amazing nor is it terrible. It is a base line which we all walk on.  It is also used when all other positive or negative words fail to describe a person, event, place.  Eg. We had a crap time… would be replaced with nice as not to offend the people you hung out with.

To further explain the Theory of Nice in a geographic sense I have provided you with examples based on a holiday home. We replaced the real feelings of people with the word NICE and the list is a brief summary of what this statement could possibly mean.

It was nice.  (The holiday home)

  1. It was old and decrepit house but the owners are really proud of it and allowed us to stay there for free.
  2. It was average and there was nothing to do and they didn’t even have Foxtell.
  3. There was only cheap instant coffee there wasn’t even a pod machine so our weekend was ruined because of this but if we admit this we would look shallow
  4. It was nice: I can’t remember as I was drunk most of the time and are not even sure where I slept or who with.
  5. It was nice: It was freaking awesome.  spa, pool, basketball court, butler… we don’t want to give too much away or give it a great review because they may put up the prices if it becomes too popular and you might book in on the same weekend as us and then we’ll have to wait.

When talking about people here are some examples of what nice may mean.

She is nice. (or he)  can translate into:

  1. She’s an absolute bitch. She is nasty and I’m not saying anything more in case it gets back to her and she hunts me down and tries to cause turbulence in my life. I will do everything to avoid her.
  2. She is so boring and I wanted to blow my brains out.
  3. She is is another world, another life, another timezone to me and although she is ‘nice’ I just don’t understand her and never will. It’s best to part ways now.
  4. I can’t remember her name and am not even sure who you are talking about.
  5. She is beyond nice.  She is perfect and stunning and gorgeous and I want to marry her and become a lesbian because of her.  I don’t want you meeting her because she will make me look below average and she might choose to be your BFF and all the ground work I have done so far will be disregarded.

The Theory of Nice.

If you hadn’t noticed the Temple catchphrase is to “Just Be Freaking Nice OK!!”   We stand by this statement but wanted to expand on it.

To assist you I have provided you with a basic chart to assist you in understanding my theory.

nice

I’m happy living a nice life but if it was nice all the way I don’t believe I would be fulfilled.

Nice is safe and an OK place to be.  To aim for ‘just nice’ in your own life however for me,  isn’t enough.

On the left you will see the bare minimum I believe you should aim for when it comes to your own life.  Lots of nice moments but there has to be passion, fulfilment, dreams and there should be lots of freaking amazing moments.

By saying I’m happy living a nice life you are saying, I am happy living a neither extraordinary life nor one that involves too many deep emotions. I sit safely in the middle unnoticed and untouched by anything that great or that risky.

It is actually OK to stay on the nice area, as long as there is the appreciation to a nice life.

Now on the right is where our slogan: Just be Freaking Nice. OK!! originates from. We believe that if is not in your nature to be an inspiration or provide motivation to others, the bare minimum you should be is nice.

If you can’t support people, treat them with respect or be honest with them at least be nice.

Don’t ever allow a situation or person to bring out traits in  the area below nice.  While others may be rude, inconsiderate, jealous or plot revenge, they are missing out on the simplicity and rewards of being nice.

There.  It is as simple as that and this is written proof of why I failed psychology. I have no interest in actual studies in the area, I believe I am right through my own thoughts on the basic requirements of nice.

So if someone pushes in front of you at the supermarket, tell them that it is rude. If they then spit in your face and call you an old cow you can either look at them and feel pity that they obviously lead a very sad, twisted life and the evidence is there that they are not nice.

If you say however: Hey you feral rude freak. Wait your turn.  Don’t push in front of me or I will put a curse on you to be charged double for that chicken you’re scanning. Expect a more verbal, possibly violent reaction from them.

Why not try: Did you want to go first? I don’t mind. In a genuine tone and they may be left confused to if they were displaying their normal behavior or if it was your idea for them to go first.

Oh it’s getting too complex now.

Just be nice freaking nice OK!! We may change the world slowly by displaying good manners despite those who are not nice.

But make your own life awesome.

Peace and  OMmmmni…

xoxo

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Seventy and Live Music at the Temple

Live at the Temple: Seventy

Music makes your heart sing and recent studies have found that singing will improve your brainpower by feeding the happiness section with seventy molecular bio beans proven by Einstein to make you smile.

They also discovered whilst eating doughnuts during the study that and awesome music will help you loose weight by making you shake your booty. (unfounded research and words used)

I don’t believe that there is a single person in the world who could say they hate music. There is just too many styles (over seventy) and artists to choose from to put a blanket hate on them all just as loving them all is going to be highly unlikely.

But there will be a tune, a beat, a symphony, a hum that evokes an memory a feeling of happiness, sadness, love or just plain annoyance.

Things have been quiet here on my blog because I have finally convinced the Temple Guru to just freaking sing.  He likes a song or two and is the guy that gives beautiful, amazing speeches at weddings, has the words to color the world and the heart to fully express it.

So after years of my non-musical, screeching voice yelling, annoying, pestering him to just sing, he finally got his mates Madge and Vaughn to hang out and jam.

I have discovered that among this singing is a songwriting wiz who has created with his mates, some freaking awesome tunes beyond what I thought possible.

I wanted to share with you my favorite song thus far called Seventy, that the boys have created.  Micko wrote the lyrics, Madge and Vaughn the music.  They play weekly in the shed Saturday afternoons at 2.30 and we stream live on Periscope. (Australian est)

So here is the big hit to be of 2016 as predicted by Dylan.

It’s called Seventy.

We hope you enjoy and join us Live at the Temple when you can.  Follow us to follow their journey each Saturday or head to the Temple Youtube channel to see the latest.

Peace Ommmm and music to all.
Like it, share it and I’ll love you forever.

xoxo Tamzen Temple

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