Foil Fashion: Get Foiled

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Funky Foil Fashion

My stylist Gucci Mustaf and I were recently approached by My Kitchen Masterchef Rules to glam up kitchen fashion.

The plain black or white aprons they wore were a little bland but necesary and the producers wanted to put a spin of glamour in the kitchen.

The brief was affordable  multipurpose head wear and accessories to wear in the kitchen.  Many of the contestants may have had a flair for corned beef but not the sparkle required to truly sizzle on the screen.

Gucci firstly came up with this foil chefs hat. The sleek lines similar to the traditional toques blanches to show authority or expertise in the kitchen.

You can see from my solemn yet exceptionally stunning looks that I am not too pleased with the simplicity of it.  It oozes more Iron Killer Chef and we went back to the chopping board to rework the design and add that extra zest to the look.

The accessories helped but I wasn’t feeling it.  We needed a mystery box challenge and to add that extra element to the look and a rack of lamb gave us the inspiration for a crown.

Gucci worked around me being the Temple Queen I am  and I explained to her from para phrases of The Block & MKR that the kitchen is the heart of the home or at least my Temple and that you eat with your eyes first, that presentation on the plate or at least my head was vital to winning the judges over.

So with Multix Alfoil as a non sponsor, we were on a roll and completed the task.  As the only Mundane Model in the Southern Hemisphere I was the only person for the job.

get foiled

The Tinny Tiara: Perfect for any Master Ruler Of the Kitchen.

I looked as theatrical than a Heston desert with the simplicity of Jamie Oliver toasted sanga.   Paired with a chunky foil choker I was ready to get baked like a Christmas turkey.

foil fashion

“It would be great to pair the Foil Fashion with the Chuxress especially in the kitchen but it would be a better fit with a Chux-apron and we’re in talks with manufacturers to get it out there.”  Gucci Mustav commented.
Gucci won again with a contract to produce a full range of Foil Fashion items to be sold in some of the top homewear and fashion stores (possibly Harris Scarfe) throughout the world.

foil fashion

Slogans were my forte which is why Gucci and I make such a great team. She creates and sews or bends the Foil Fashion, I model and come up with catchy words to capture the essence of the product.

foil fashion

GO GET FOILED

foil fashion

A cheeky play on words and a word many chefs understand having to work endless split shifts late at night dealing with wannabe foodies that want their steak more than rare…

Please note.. Rare is actually a scam, rare is crap (just like oysters) Chefs give us the impression this is the best way to cook them to save them time.

Go Get Foiled to all the members of the family that sit and tell you a million times that they’re hungry yet don’t move from the couch to cook.

Go Get Foiled to all the freaking cooking us non cooks do and making bolognese for the fifth time in a week because it’s all you know sucks….

It will have different meanings to us all but ultimately make cooking glamourous and for those who can’t afford to go out for a forty dollar meal, it will make them feel a little glam while they slave over a hot oven or bucket of Kentucky.

Foil Fashion is here to stay.. until you need some foil to cover leftovers for the oven then you can rip it off your head an walla!! Or you can just go buy some Multix Alfoil and book in for lessons with myself and Gucci.


foil fashion

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Do you like my latest Mundane Modelling assignment.  Scroll scroll down to let me know.

 

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I Quit Asparagus: 7 Day Challenge

Asparagus Finito

asparagus

Whew.. I’m doing it…  I’m quitting asparagus.

It took me a whole four years to think of what I could quit. I’d already quit smoking through a brilliant hypnotist (although now whenever I hear the word cigarette, I crow like a rooster) I don’t have much sugar and I’m not into gambling of late…

I can’t give up social media as I freaking love Instagram too much….so after much thought, I thought with this growing trend of quitting things I really must join in.

So I took the bold step to quit this green funny vegetable. (Please note, as I gave up asparagus the picture may contain broccoli instead)

It was a hard journey and one I was hesitant to begin.  BUT as I do like to follow the trends of social media in the oversharing of sharing what is being quit, started, eaten, Donald Trump, hashtags, cat videos and quotes.. I thought it was my obligation as the writer of the ridiculous and social media hashtagger to document my physical and mental state through this challenge.


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I call it the Seven Day Asparagus Ingestion Embargo.

Day One..

I wake up instantly craving asparagus… I think about the long slender sexy body and the funny Marge Simpson hair top thingy, a clash of beauty and insanity.  I laugh and think how much fun asparagus is and then slap myself across the face and eat raw pumpkin instead. It tastes crap but it stopped me thinking of asparagus.
#margesimpsonsfunnyvegetablehair

Day Two

Lunch date and I met my bestie Gwyneth Paltrow at the local cafe.. OMG she freaking orders asparagus..  I yell at her.. “Are you freaking for real Gwynnie??!!  You know I’m doing the Asparagus Ingestion Embargo.. What sort of a friend are you, you green eater?”

She tries to calm me but it’s too late.  The waiter brings out her order and I take it from his hand and throw it in her face.  “We are no longer friends you asparagus harlot. We are officially uncoupled.”

I left her crying in the cafe and felt bad but seriously, what sort of a friend orders asparagus?

#uncoupledasparagus

I quit asparagus

Day Three

I went to the supermarket to get the usual milk, bread blah blahh……. and right there in front of me was asparagus.. on special. Two for five dollars.. That’s a fifty cent saving and the temptation was great.  I turned my back and walked away and bought a pack of chocolate coated doughnuts instead.   Phew I nearly folded but doing this felt like a turning point to the seven day challenge.

#asparagustwospecialdeal

 

Day Four

I watch Sesame Street with Bronzy and there are dancing vegetables… including an asparagus.  Why, why am I being haunted by asparagus..? I mean I hadn’t eaten it for one year prior to this Asparagus Ingestion Embargo and now I have chosen to quit asparagus it’s in my face everywhere….

I feel terrible as I turn off the TV. Bronzy cries as he begs for me to turn it back on so he can learn the alphabet.  I tell him that Sesame Street is evil and he can never watch it again. He looks at me confused with tears in his eyes and I comfort him with chocolate and icecream.

#sesamestreetvscutevegetables

Day Five

I’m feeling edgy.   Everything I look at reminds me of asparagus.  I have four strong coffees in a row. Bronzy is at kinda so I have time to think and all I can think about is asparagus.   I want a cigarette and start crowing.  I search the house and find an old pack along with some old dried up tips of asparagus.. I mix it in with the cigarette and find that smoking asparagus takes away the edge.

#asparagussmoker

Day Six

I start searching online for asparagus…. I feel like I’m cheating looking at all the asparagus pictures….  I find one of white asparagus.  I instantly gag at the thought of eating this…  I have no idea why.

asparagus

#idontfeellikeasparagustoday

Day Seven

I made it.   I feel liberated.  I last the whole day without asparagus.  I don’t even think about it, possibly because I started drinking at 10am.   It’s a Sunday and they drink wine at church so I drink champagne at the Temple….

Findings

I felt a little solemn after I sobered up. I looked up the health benefits of asparagus and it’s really good for you.   Apparently it’s great for hangovers. So I went straight down to Woolies and bought some and put Sesame Street while I cooked it.   The house feels normal again and the Guru has come back inside after a week of avoiding me by hiding in the shed.

If you’ve been thinking about quitting asparagus, do it.. Challenge yourself.   Even though I’m back on it… I’ve never felt better….

What have you quit???? Scroll scroll down to let me know.

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