Farewell the Blue Square: I Quit Facebook

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I Quit Facebook

I have a friend who hardly ever answers her phone….. If you text her you can bet it may be at least two days before she gets back to you, often longer.

I have other friends who forget to return a text or call back a missed call as they “don’t check their phones.” Yet, I know that’s a lie because I just saw them post something on Facebook via their phone…

My friend forgets where she puts her mobile phone and it’s not an excuse. She is focused on her life not her phone, not Facebook.
She would be an awesome criminal as no one could track her movements. there would be no news story that said “she announced that she was  planning the attack/robbery/party on Facebook.”

Or if she went missing the detectives would be left scratching their heads as a common occurrence on the news: “She was last seen on High Street and posted a selfie earlier that day.  Since then there has been no activity on her Facebook account which has left both family and friends concerned. ”

I’ve been envious of her ability to do this.   I need to know where my phone is at all times. I need to check my Instagram for my blog. Ok that’s a lie. I don’t need to check it.. it’s a phone not a baby.  I may need to post a pic once a day or week but there’s no need to check.

It’s the same as Facebook. I wake up, check Facebook, have a morning coffee, check Facebook, after lunch, check Facebook… I see a red notification on the Facebook app on my phone so I check Facebook. Even after turning off notifications for groups and pages and people, the little red notification catches my eye.

And it may be… “your page is performing well, or has had 10 views or add a new cover.. blah blah crap.”

Stop freaking informing me of irrelevant crap Mr Z.   I swipe and inform ‘him’ to get fewer notifications like this yet they still haunt me.  It’s a ploy to get me to check my FB and hold me there only to find ten minutes has passed and I’ve forgotten what I’m meant to be doing while ignoring whatever Micko has just asked me and explaining to Bronzy that it may be for work and be important.. (Which it never has been)

img_4503Facebook is the devil to me as someone who works from home.  Yep.. I’m one of those students whose reports always had… Tamzen Temple gets easily distracted…. and this was pre Facebook.

I access all my news via Facebook as I have subscribed to these types of posts but among these news posts I get gifs, inspiration from David Wolf through friends who like his stuff, (BTW he’s an anti vaxer and you hate anti vaxers), awesome motivational videos that halt me in actual achieving as I watch instead of doing, cute cat  videos, kids giggling that make you feel all warm and fuzzy for the day, a craft or home hack that I will never use or a quirky video of a recipe with super catchy  music..

I’m over the control the blue square with the white F  has over me so last week I decided to quit.   My stepson Jordan dropped in and told us he was thinking of quitting it too.  He has over a thousand “friends” who want to know what he’s doing, where he is and try to lure him to catch up.  I was rather proud of him taking this stance.   He is at an impressionable age at 22 and the distraction of Facebook is something I never had back then.

I started thinking about it more and more after he left and felt hits of adrenaline at the prospect of removing this from my life.   I had to take into consideration my blog page on Facebook where I share content… Do I delete this, my Tamzen Temple FB page??? I manage pages for Micko the spunky Temple Guru and his band SKOL so I need a personal page to do that.

I have my business Before Breakfast…  Do I delete this as well?

Before I even start considering this I have to consider the groups I’m in …. totalling 53… WTF.. how did I end up in 53 groups?  I don’t think in real life I have ever been in any group and now I’m in groups for blogging, sales, marketing, freelance, beauty and a bunch of others and I have no idea how this happened.  I long turned off notifications for most of these groups but would drop by on occasion to many of them but not 53 of them for the love of God!

Two of these groups I started myself so I had to jump in and ask others to take over as admins so they wouldn’t be deleted.  There were the comments… “we’ll miss you” from those who never participated in any conversations, to “I could never quit Facebook… I love it too much.”

And I tried to think what I loved about Facebook… and came up with nothing.

Sure it put me back in touch with school friends of the past. I’ve made some amazing connections through some of the groups but I find that for me Facebook has bought about a form of depression that I want to avoid.

From my timeline where I see FB friends posting “There will be karma to those who wrong me, you know who you are.”  Ummmmmm how will they know unless they are  friends of yours on Facebook or you are hoping someone will tell them your feelings toward them?

OR “So over it all..”  to others commenting…”I hope everything is ok” to them posting back..”I’ll dm you with details.”  So I”m left wondering about the drama and if they’re ok and why you would vent publically telling the public that it is private..

I’d like to think I behave the same in real life as I do on Facebook, only I deal with real life in real life and don’t deal with problems with others through Facebook.  It’s a method I learned years ago and I call it communicating direct, face to face.  You may have heard of this and it involves an actual conversation either with the person in person or via mobile or landline…….

Honesty, integrity as that’s what the Temple is all about. We’re trying to bring back manners, decency and most of all common sense and I’ve veered off course to try and globalise this through social media and got myself all bound up by anxiety and disappointment by the actions or inactions of others on Facebook or in life.

I’ve got to admit this whole quitting has been prompted also by a series of unfortunate events since the start of the year.  I’ve had constant ridiculous health issues that are nothing major but feels like I’m continually sick or limping, car trouble, work issues, family stuff and more.
I’ve been overwhelmed and wanted to start simplifying my life and thought all this angst and crap is a freaking sign.  And it’s been amazing already. Since I made the decision to quit I’ve had four things in one day turn for the best.  I’m a believer of sending out the positive and my brain has been so jammed packed of late there was no room for change.

Since releasing myself from some commitments and making room in my head, the thoughts of what I am really aiming for in life, have surfaced again.

Facebook for me was too much white noise that made me stress about the welfare of others that I barely knew, about inappropriate behavior and language and sadness of those who continually want to share and be heard when they don’t listen, post or comment to those who have shown them support, not even a like…..

It saddened me that some drunk would post a pic of them on their fiftieth beer and received 100 likes and a mum who was struggling by sharing and reaching out for help would get none.  I couldn’t go on being the official liker of all things unliked as it was actually starting to really affect me.  I have to move on as Facebook behavior is in a league I can’t conform to.   I hated seeing friends post racist comments when I never knew that they felt this way in real life and now I feel awkward knowing them.  I felt heartbreak for others who tell me about those they assume to be close to them commenting generic words on their timelines to maintain  a relationship for the Facebook world to see but don’t include in their real life in fact are ignored or segregated.

And when  I realised that if I’m getting sad through something so minor as people not giving a great post a thumbs up, I knew it was time for a change as Facebook currency of likes, smiles, shock etc are a half second pre prepared reaction that holds no creed.

So I backed up my stuff and deactivated my account and wrote this.. without distraction.

What do you love or dislike about Facebook??
I’d love to know… scroll scroll down to tell

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The Hidden Dangers of Instagram Bots

Instagram Bots Not.

I was at a cafe with friends the other day and one of them was taking the standard coffee pic while bragging that they had just been followed by a incredibly handsome male supermodel from France.

She was chuffed and started to flip her hair around while telling us he left a comment saying, “Awesome shot.”

“No he didn’t.” I said.

“Yes he did Tamzen Temple. You’re not the only one who gets admired by people across the world….”

So I left it at..   I had to give her a moment of fake glory to take away her Instagram insecurities.

By doing so left me in a dilemon……. (cross between a dilemma and lemon as it could be bitterly tragic to my bff)

Do I just allow her to believe in a false admiration?  Or hit her with the facts? ……

Spoiler alert for any Instagrammers that don’t want to know the truth….. Do not read on.

Instagram is full of fake likes and bots that hand out random comments like current salons are churning out pastel hair tones…

Instagress,   Autogrambot and Likestagram are all programs that help desperate people wanting to increase their followers, but are too lazy to engage with real people themselves so use these Instagram bots, to fake it.

Let’s look at this example.  Pierre… the French hottie who said “Awesome Shot” to my BFF Rochelle goes into this program picks five to ten hashtags that he knows will possibly be used by a particular demographic that he’s aiming for in terms of followers and does the following.

For every time the following words come up, one or two things will happen.  He (The Instgram Bots) will automatically like your pic and leave a generated comment based on that word.

Words that he may want to target and the comments he may use are:

#Model:  WOW   #Fit:  Great work   #Designer : Looks good   #gym:  Awesome shot.

Now the blatantly obvious problem with using these auto bots can be the following.

  • They are not real likers.. They have only liked because you have liked them.
  • They will highly likely not be engaged users.
  • They will highly likely go over to see who left this random comment and possibly like a pic back as a common courtesy.
  • They may follow back only but will possibly unfollow you when they realise you no longer follow them.

Unfollowing is a common thing Instagram bots do.  They lure you in and unfollow just as quickly so you don’t notice.

They trick unsuspecting users to engage or follow by faking comments or follows….

Go on.. I dare you to test this if you are a good old fashioned person, non blogger, non business..  Use the hashtags: #famous, #actor, #coffee #travel and I guarantee you will get random likes possibly by a wannabe actor, agent wanting to represent you, coffee shop wanting numbers or travel agent wanting to sell you a trip.

The Hidden Danger of Instagram Bots.

If you use some words you may end up some sites that are not appealing or the complete opposite to what you should and this will be visible to your followers/customers.

If you check your likes/comments you will see this when you click on the heart.

For yourself

instagram bots

Now Lauramay007 uses bots as she likes a few accounts I manage and leaves random Instagram Bots’ comments.

Then you can see who others are liking. I have only included myself from another page to protect others’ privacy.

Instagram Bots

Now here’s an example of the danger.

When doing some work for a company that produces an awesome baby product,  I sometimes go in and look at who has followed who and what they have liked as it’s a great way to find like minded people who may be interested in the product as they are already linked to someone you know.

When you check who has followed or liked pics it may come up in their timelines that they have liked hashtags that may be relevant but may include some undesirables or alternates to the hashtags that don’t represent their brand.

instagram bots

Or they misspell a hashtag and it comes up in their timeline of posts they have like that may include these.

instagram bots


Or there was a recent spate of spam from Snapchat Babies that were nudey rudey. (I have to say this appears to be lesser than once was. Instgram must be onto it.)

Instagram bots

Or proud partners may post pics of their baby…..
Instagram bots


How sweet. He must be so proud of his baby that he had to share.. so in love with each other??

Get my drift now?

Sometimes when I look on this feed of others that sell baby goods or who are putting their children on to sell as brand ambassadors and who obviously are using auto bots to increase their following you can see they have liked many of these pics automatically and if you didn’t know about the bots you could assume they were a bit perverted or wonder why their likes or follows were not in line with their brand.

They’ve auto liked and commented on the following hashtags… (remembering they are targeting people with babies)

#mybabygirl  #mybaby #babes  Autobotting a like for every picture that contains this/these hashtags among others and then when you check out who they have followed or liked may SHOCK you.. or not.

instagram bots

They have liked or followed without even knowing it..naked women,  naked men……. or even worse… Kim Kardashian!!

Now you know this you can see why the bots could be highly damaging to your businesses or your own reputation.  Plus if you are a mummy blogger or a mum trying to push her child as a brand rep and tagging their pics with these hashtags, be aware you are putting them in feeds where potential erotic pics exist and wrong eyes are upon them.

So there.  This is one example of hashtags gone wrong when linked to Instagram bots.

They may choose hashtags to BOT based on geographic location, to sell active wear or sports supplements by telling you “great guns” or “very pretty” for a selfie.. only to find they are selling makeup or the most annoying for anyone that uses the hashtag blogger or social influencer, you will get all sorts of social media managers telling you “great feed”.

That is why you shouldn’t like random people until you have checked them out, don’t follow them back just because they have followed you.

Check the hashtags you are using are relevant and that the people using them are like minded people.

What are your favorite hashtags..?  Have you been caught out on Instagram? Scroll scroll down to let me know.

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