Temple Dictionary

Ah-Da-Ha-Whadda??

The verbal reaction a follower of Tamzen Temple has when they find out that their friend/relative or workmate has yet to catch on to this amazing site of useless information. They then go into frantic offerings of advice on how they can catch the latest from our personal preference, email subscription through entering email in subscription box on tamzentemple.com.au or typing in tamzentemple  on any of these sites; Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, Pinterest and Facebook. The Temple is like an infection of the good kind where you may hold your stomach in laughter or scratch your head thinking ‘what the heck is she talking about?  Leading people to think you are either sick or extremely confused. You can also email me at tamzentemple@gmail.com to ask to be added our list and just order your friends to be cooler by following us already.

Anticipatient

An emotion once felt waiting for news through a landline or a visit from a real person.  This emotion was also felt when waiting for an expected postal delivery, known as a letter or mail.  The feeling of anticipation has been lost or diluted through social media where news is spread instantly.  For example you  no longer have to wait patiently for that special someone to call  as they will most likely text you if they are interested or friend you on Facebook and send private or public conversations instead of actually taking the time to visit or call and have a real chat.

Bideo

Otherwise know as a blog video aka vlog.  Why should the V come first..?

Binipula

The latest social media sharing concept that is yet to be invented but discovered when Tamzen Temple time-travelled forward ten years to meet founder of this revolutionary concept Mr Norman Hale.  He, luckily while she was there, gave her a raving review on one of her Quote Episodes but she cannot reveal anymore about this in fear of changing the future.

Chuxress

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A dress (or suit) for the man or woman of the house to lower their stress levels. The Chuxress acts as a cleaning suit whereby the wearer can just roll around in the mess caused by their children, partner, friends or pets.  It’s a handy alternative and great to wear to  parties to catch any spillages.

Craughing

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When you or someone else, so really just anyone…. laughs so much they cry because of happiness.  It can also mean when you/they are so exhausted and sad, possibly devastated about something  such as no more chocolate in the house or The Bachelor ending that you/they are in tears but then you/they see someone trip over without hurting themselves or spill something over themselves that it makes you/them laugh through tears then revert back to crying.  This process is uncontrollable and can last for minutes to up to an hour and can be uplifting with rushes of adrenaline if happening at a funeral where family or friends are inconsolable but laugh when funny stories are told of their lost loved one.  The end result is that you will feel shappy.  (Sad + Happy)

Delayed Discipline:

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Whereby your child trashes things but instead of telling them they’re behaving badly you see it as a photo opportunity for Instagram.

Disclaimer XYZ

This is used at the end of some of my posts/pages. It allows people to check and confirm that what I have written is probably a bunch of lies or fabricated from a truth and distorted to amazing proportions.  It is usually used when it is not a minterview (see below in the m section)  but still really ridiculous.

Fictitious disorder.

A disorder where by a person will believe they are something they are not.  They can do so in front of friends and family without being targeted and without  their lie pointed out even though everyone is aware they suffer from this.  An example of this is Uncle Gordon.  He believes he is super strong but has has trouble lifting a full cup of coffee.  Although he is short in stature, has no visible muscles and is thought to be rather effeminate, he tells everyone how big and strong he is in a high pitched voice and even uses false stories to color his lie.  (We would all totes support him if he made the change like Bruce Jenner )  Another example is Tamzen Temple.  She believes she is a six foot tall supermodel  but is in actual fact short around 1.64 cm,  has bad hair, has an uncoordinated strut and applies makeup badly.  She also believes she should be allowed to wear a tiara to the supermarket, which in fact she should be able to and could if she lived in New York…

Floppin

floppin tamzentemple - Copy Definition: To hang around and do pretty much nothing.  The Temple Guru is an absolute master at this and has perfected his skills in floppin especially on the weekends.  It is best to wear trackies, a hoodie and have a blanket, water and a couple of snacks nearby. This will save any ‘flopper’ from moving if they get cold or hungry. Most floppers are found on the couch possibly with the remote nearby and assume that their partners/housemates/other can hear them through walls as they ask ridiculous irrelevant questions yet use a tone that makes you come to them in an urgent manner, only to realise they have wasted your time. They will have their phone on their knee or in hand ready to answer and when people call and ask, “what are you doing?”  They will respond with, “just floppin.” It is a hereditary condition passed onto mini Gurus.  Scroll scroll down to let us know if you know a flopper.

Funny Bloggers

A blogger who is actually funny and doesn’t just write lol to trick the reader into believing they are funny. A prime example of a funny blogger is Tamzen Temple who is extremely clever and witty and not modest at all.  She is one of the funniest bloggers in the universe…..

Hashtag Tattoo

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A tattoo that Tamzen Temple has to highlight words and situations to save her from speaking. She hopes one day never to have to utter another word and use tattoos she eventually hopes to get over her body to communicate.  She is a pioneer in using social media icons to express herself in the real world.  She also has an @ tattoo on her finger so people will know how to connect with her on all social networks @tamzentemple She is so brilliant in thinking ahead.

Hystorical

Something so funny, like anything Tamzen Temple writes or says, that will no doubt go down in history as a quote to uplift spirits.

Kittering

photo (16) A condition that occurs in the kitchen that mainly affects teenagers and adult males where they are unaware there is a sponge available  to wipe up any mess or are oblivious that there are bins to throw out banana peels, milk containers and other wastage.  This leads to a rage in the adult female in the home when they have to  follow the trail of destruction left by those affected by Kittering. Kittering can also happen in the toilet where empty rolls are left instead of being replaced and can also can occur throughout the rest of the house with dirty clothes left in random places instead of being placed in the laundry basket.  There is unfortunately no cure for this.

Minterview:

Definition: An interview or scenario, usually in the company of Tamzen Temple, with a celebrity, very famous person, a religious icon eg: God, Buddha, the postman, my neighbour, the taxi driver, myself  or any random person that enters my mind or even an random non living object, that may or may not take place. This can happen in my day dreams, night dreams or just in my head as I’m buying carrots or toilet rolls and usually be posted without any second thought.  These will usually follow with a disclaimer to cover me from any legal rife due to the complete fabrication it may be.  We believe anyone who takes these Minterviews seriously should consider the disclaimer (see footer/bottom of page) of  Tamzen Temple, where by they should get a sense of humor. Ommmm and pray for my brain to separate truth from reality.

Morningness:

A condition that can affect anyone usually in the mornings,  sometimes beyond this where they take a long period to fully wake up and embrace the world. If this occurs on the weekend, they may stay in their PJ’s all day, not speak unless absolutely necessary, possibly give death stares to anyone who tries to communicate with them and walk with their head down with a coffee in their hand until it passes.  It can be caused by a hangover, a bad sleep the night before, hormonal or in their genetic makeup. It can hit at any time. If this occurs from Monday to Friday it is usually caused because the unfortunates suffering with it have to go to employment that they dislike, having to work with people who may be deficient in decency or have too have become robots in Morningness, forgetting they may have another option to take or that they should be thankful to be alive. We suggest those suffering Morningness wake up thankful for all they have and work on a plan to make their life happier so they appreciate the absolute honour of waking each day instead of infecting with their venomous behavior.

Nice

A generic word often used to describe an average situation, person or place in life.  Nice is not amazing nor is it terrible. It is a base line which we all walk on in it is also used when all other positive or negative words fail to describe a person, event, place.  eg. We had a crap time… would be replace it with nice as not to offend the people you hung out with. You should really read my amazing nice post to fully understand the Temple definition.

PAC

IMG_4265-001 What is a Pac you ask.  Well if you’ve seen the Temple Guru you’ll know.  It’s a condition where it is physically impossible for him and others like him to wear his cap the accustomed way.  The Guru once showed me his cap forward as society expects and he actually looked ridiculous.  Please don’t judge 43 year olds for wearing their caps as pacs.  In fact if they are brave enough to express their inner backward wearing ways, applaud them for doing it knowing they will be judged by small minded people who scuff and say, “turn your hat round mate”. We say back to them, “worry about something important” and while your at it get a personality and a bit brave in expressing yourself instead of conforming to normal hat wearing ways.

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Just when you think… WTF am I doing in this world and contemplate changing your ridiculous ways or throwing all in the trash your brilliant and stunning sister tells you that you are brilliant and odd and you decide that YES, you are awesome and will persist with whatever it is you are doing, be it trying out for the kickboxing championship even though you have never kicked anything, or applying for Masterchef even though you burn toast everyday or run around the block even though you really walk.  Their actual belief in your ability is probably as doubtful as yours but they manage to convince you that you rock.  This sister is also as equally brilliant in their own minds and knows if you chuck it in they will have to admit they are just as crazy as you or as brilliant and secretly also believe that the world would be a better place if you or they were the primepresident of the world.

Pre-enactment

photo (18) Acting out your reaction to an event that may or may not occur in the future.  Rather than re-enacting the past, as they do with crime shows, with poorly cast actors and missing pieces to the story, a pre-enactment allows you control of how you see your future. For example, you could pre-enact winning the lottery by stealing a Porsche and driving it to an empty holiday house by the beach and pretend while you are there that this is your actual life.  A pre-enactment though may or may not come true but for that moment it is a great way to visualise the future you desire which is why it is best to capture heaps of selfies of the occasion or hire a cameraman with the future money you will have to record the occasion. You can then look back on these photos and say ” remember that day when we lived the future….??”

Silleriously

A condition where one finds it almost impossible to be serious.  They try to act and be serious only for ridiculous, silly words to come out of their mouths or in words for all to read, hear and judge.  Many find those with this condition tremendously annoying yet funny.   Those with the condition are quite happy and have no other ill effects from it but however often feel lonely when they have no audience or when the audience has no sense of humor at all and scoff at their silleriously behavior.

Sole Sister

A friend you befriend purely because they have the same size foot as you and even a bigger budget.  You don’t really like anything about them but know they have exceptional taste and 200 pairs of amazing shoes that they are happy to lend.  You never need to buy shoes again for evening wear you only need to get in touch one month prior to an event to make pretend care contact so it doesn’t look like you are only friends with them for their shoe collection.

SPESH

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Oh I’m sure we all know what this means but you may not know where  SPESH originated from.  It all started when someone had a baby and looked down and just couldn’t finish the word special due to absolute emotion taking over.  Here was the actual conversation.  Mother after two days of labour:  “He is just sooo  spe… spe…. (happy weeping here) spesh…”   (short for special) Can also be used in other situations such as when a sibling cuddles their baby brother or sister, that is pretty spesh, or when a baby takes their first steps with their arms outreached to their mum. That is spesh… Get my drift. Most times the word spesh is used will be in reference to a child as they are particularly spesh…..  xx However in male usage we have found that ‘blokes’ may use this term when they get a ice cold beer on a hot day or when a middle aged man sees a pristine set of wheels  from their younger days and it will come out as a grunt… Speesshh!! Inspired by Bronzy of course but prompted by a really spesh pic of Riley holding Yanni.

 Spireligiousaliens

A person who can’t decide to follow spirituality, religion or sightings of aliens.  They are open to any possibility of creation and life lessons depending what’s in fashion at the time.  They try unsuccessfully to do yoga but get bored and distracted by the light in the sky…..

Unspirational Quote

A quote that does not inspire but instead makes the reader realize that relying too much on quotes instead of just living is a waste of time.  We love that people can be inspired in many ways and if they need quotes and find comfort in them that is awesome.  We do feel however that instead of living within the constraints of a quote they should go outside and smell the roses…

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Urownis

A world that involves no one else but themselves where one is oblivious to the real world and the problems in the real world.  Those that create a Urownis, believe that because they have been president of their Urownis that they know everything and should bring this unfounded, ridiculous knowledge into the realworld. People in their Urownis usually end up saying dumb things with no consideration to mainstream society.

 

Wigget

115H (White Shirt Bigot) Definition: Wiggets are usually found in a factory environment where there is a segregation between the office staff and blue collar workers. The blueys are completely oblivious that it exists as they think that everyone is equal in regard to race religion or employment rank. These Wiggets may feel they have the authority or special privileges and entitlements with lurks and perks of that with a white collar. Examples of such privileges or bad behavior are: Pushing in front of people in the canteen line as they believe they are superior, or feeling uneasy when a bluey enters their office workspace and ignore them when they ask for a simple request and overreact by huffing as if they are far too busy and important to deal with ‘them’.

 Wikipediachedingness

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A condition /addiction/illness where when watching a movie, eating a nut or reliving the past or present where you will want to confirm what you do or don’t know and head straight to Wikipedia for that page.  You will watch movies and inform those who are with you what could happen, reinforce what has happened and then click on the actors in the movie to extend your knowledge further of them thus clicking onto another movie that you add to your must watch list. You will also discover that movies that are based on true stories to be falsified to the max and your faith in Hollywood may be destroyed.    (Sound of Music Maria was 30 years younger and forced to marry…tissue please..) If you are eating a food  and wonder where it comes from you will type in cashew and marvel over the growth of these and send an email with a Wikipedia pic to your partner who will also be equally surprised of its complex growth.  You will then be lead to other nuts and discover that a peanut is not a nut but a legume… If watching a documentary you will also Wikipedia it and find out the real facts according to wiki and further delve into the links, getting you totally off track to what you originally were looking for. An example map of where Wikipedia will take you is as follows. Wars – peace –Nobel Peace Prize- 14th Dalai Lama- Republic of China- Multiculturalism – Salad Bowl-Multiculturalism in Australia- Bob Hawke- Ten Network- The Bold and the Beautiful….. anyway… The only known cure is for the phone of the person suffering this severe illness to go flat or out of range or for any satellites to crash and burn therefore destroying all internet connections.

 

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1 Comment
  • jen
    August 18, 2014

    wow! ha ha thanks for the new vocabulary words! I will try and use one in a sentence today. 🙂