Rhythms with Beyonce
In the latest groundbreaking news, Tamzen Temple is engaged.
Witnesses said Ms Temple was spotted with long time partner Micko the Temple Guru at a Melbourne Club partying all night on the dance floor in an obvious celebration.
After being harassed by paparazzi, when Ms Temple and the Guru jumped on the bar to perform their unique dance; the Temple Tango, they were removed by security in a peaceful, ‘nice’ way.
They both then tangoed out of the club willingly without any trouble. It was only after a pushy paparazzi shoved a camera in the face of Micko the Guru that Ms Temple began ranting to leave her ‘Beyonce’ alone.
No one could make sense of her rants until she said he was ‘bootylishious’, officially off the market and that they were happily engaged.
The two have had a long history together that has involved hurdles to their love with George Clooney, who was infatuated by Ms Temple and Micko the Guru’s obvious obsession with Miranda Kerr.
On contacting the couple, Micko the Guru confirmed “Yes I did ask Tamzen to marry me, I felt after twelve years of knowing her and the unbelievable bacon and eggs she guaranteed every Sunday for the rest of my life, it was time.”
The two are parents to Lebron and wanted to seal the deal and Micko did so by giving Ms Temple a rock out of the garden. “She’s not into bling and didn’t ever want a big rock on her finger so I thought this was symbolic in that it is solid and grey…Sort of like me… I can honestly say that she is the one for now and for the moment.”
He explained that although the tattoo he once wore of Miranda on his arm has been lasered off, his love for Ms Kerr could never be erased. “Only Miranda could change things and tear us apart and Tamzen would understand if this should ever happen.”
Ms Temple laughed at his statement with a slight psychotic fury in her eyes and said she had ‘warned Miranda’ and that the rock was exactly what she wanted. The engagement rock now sits in the newly engaged couple’s back garden.
No date has been set for the wedding. Ms Temple says “we were thinking of a cross between Will and Kate and Geoffrey and Brynne’s, or Geoffrey and Gabby’s nuptials, but after realising we are middle class and not royalty or cashed up celebrities with no taste, have decided we will keep it simple. Either a quick exchange of vows at the registry office or everyone can bring a plate to a backyard barbie.
Article by Kim Groman
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To wish the couple good luck and pray for Miranda scroll, scroll down. (They really doth did geteth engaged!!)