A Cardboard Crown for a Queen

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Cardboard Crown & Tiaras.

You may have spotted me over time wearing my Cardboard Crown…  or an emoji one on my Insta account but you may not know the meaning..

I’ve never been a princessy type person but when I began a couple of years ago one of the most important statements I made is that all women are Temple Queens. The Temple being their home and that women should be treated like queens or at least rule like one.

cardboard crown

Not the nasty queens of past that may behead frenemies or make the village go hungry to buy new jewels but a dignified gracious queen that overseas her Temple and protects all in it.

My cardboard crown is worn out…. I will make a new one tomorrow out of a Rice Bubble box, but I feel a little sad that this two and a half year old crown is torn and no longer sits on my head like it used to.

cardboard crown

There’s another one out there talking about queens and promoting a kick ass life and supporting one another… And that’s great, the more people promoting the regal message the better.  She does it with a feisty attitude, lots of f&$# words and has created a haven for women.

The Temple here are constantly promoting the message to the world of to  JUST BE FREAKING NICE. OK!!

Thus the Cardboard Tiara, the Cardboard Crown.  Life isn’t about what you have and the monetary worth of a gold headpiece.  It’s about making it simple, being humble and accepting, appreciating the beauty in what others may see as worthless.   It’s not just about women uniting it’s about the world uniting because of the strong Temple Queens.

cardboard crown

We are all rich in having the accessibility in manners, dignity and grace.  We all, with or without our cardboard crowns, can create  kingdoms queendoms and Temples that don’t need to say F&%$ or C&%$ to get the message that we are strong.

We don’t have to rule the world but instead take control of our own lives and that of our Temple in creating a safe haven and spreading the word of your Temple to those you have to deal with. (Although I do plan to rule the world one day)

This became huge to me once I had Bronzy.. There were so many rude people that would give death stares to a pram wielding mum for not moving fast enough, to ignoring a child who waves or says hello.

People pushing and shoving to get to the express registers before you or walking past anyone who needs help in some way. Prior to having a child you are aware of the poverty in the world and send $40 a month to try and help, but once you have a child you become anxious for the other children and families that go cold and hungry when there are those of such wealth that have gold plated toilet seats or choose to justify a $3000 pair of sunglasses and not give back in some way to those desperate.

Kids are the most precious and should be told everyday and treated like precious little temple gurus and temple queens they are and lead by example.  They shouldn’t be up for judgement by thousands and it makes me cringe when I hear parents call their children little s&%$#or p%$#@&…

I am absolutely blessed to have Bronzy and I must be incredibly lucky that he only has few moments or being a terror and is allowed to have those moments with or without an excuse. Just like we all have moments or meltdowns without being labelled.

So….. make your Temple a good one… wear a cardboard crown or an invisible one and rule the world you want to see. Be an example for your children in patience, respect and class without being afraid to get into life and live it with love.

Just Be Freaking Nice. OK!! (to adults and the kids)

Peace and Ommmni from the Temple.

If you would like a cardboard crown scroll scroll down to let me know. xoxo

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Seventy and Live Music at the Temple

Live at the Temple: Seventy

Music makes your heart sing and recent studies have found that singing will improve your brainpower by feeding the happiness section with seventy molecular bio beans proven by Einstein to make you smile.

They also discovered whilst eating doughnuts during the study that and awesome music will help you loose weight by making you shake your booty. (unfounded research and words used)

I don’t believe that there is a single person in the world who could say they hate music. There is just too many styles (over seventy) and artists to choose from to put a blanket hate on them all just as loving them all is going to be highly unlikely.

But there will be a tune, a beat, a symphony, a hum that evokes an memory a feeling of happiness, sadness, love or just plain annoyance.

Things have been quiet here on my blog because I have finally convinced the Temple Guru to just freaking sing.  He likes a song or two and is the guy that gives beautiful, amazing speeches at weddings, has the words to color the world and the heart to fully express it.

So after years of my non-musical, screeching voice yelling, annoying, pestering him to just sing, he finally got his mates Madge and Vaughn to hang out and jam.

I have discovered that among this singing is a songwriting wiz who has created with his mates, some freaking awesome tunes beyond what I thought possible.

I wanted to share with you my favorite song thus far called Seventy, that the boys have created.  Micko wrote the lyrics, Madge and Vaughn the music.  They play weekly in the shed Saturday afternoons at 2.30 and we stream live on Periscope. (Australian est)

So here is the big hit to be of 2016 as predicted by Dylan.

It’s called Seventy.

We hope you enjoy and join us Live at the Temple when you can.  Follow us to follow their journey each Saturday or head to the Temple Youtube channel to see the latest.

Peace Ommmm and music to all.
Like it, share it and I’ll love you forever.

xoxo Tamzen Temple

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Paleo Pete or Paul?

The Paleo Notwithit Way.

With all the fuss over that Paleo cookbook Bubba Yum Yum..  I thought it was my duty to see why Pan Macmillan  backed off from publishing it,  only for author, celebrity chef Pete Evans to release it himself digitally.

Sure a few recipes for kids and bubs the Paleo way gives parents an option for an alternative but the concern was that the bone broth formula   “could cause “permanent damage” or kill infants due to its high salt and Vitamin A content.” 

So I interviewed Paleo himself….

Here’s a transcript of the interview.

Tamzen Temple:  Great to meet you Mr Paul Leo.

Paleo:  It’s Paleo.   Not Paul… Leo..

Tamzen Temple:  Is that like Madonna, like one name?

Paleo: No not like her… well yes it is just one word but she does the macrobiotic diet and I’m nothing like that.

Tamzen Temple:  What’s a macrobiotic diet?

Paleo:  It’s a lot of Japanese type food. Seaweed, miso soup, brown rice.

Tamzen Temple:  Hey I wonder…. were there Japanese cavemen?

Paleo:  Most probably.

Tamzen Temple: So I suppose a Palaeolithic diet would vary depending where you lived.  Like if you had a cave near the beach and saw some seaweed, you might just munch on that.

Paleo:  Are you really that ridiculous?

Tamzen Temple:  How so?

Paleo:  I am based on what people ate during the Palaeolithic times.  Now that mainly consists of lean meats, nuts and berries.

Tamzen Temple: Yes I have Wikied you and know what you’re about.  My main concern is those on it now;  those caught up in another diet fad, just don’t get that people of that time only lived an average age of 35 years… Is that because of the diet or did the dinosaurs eat them?

Paleo: Next question please.. and make it slightly intelligent please.  This is a very serious issue at the moment with the whole Pete Evans cookbook deal gone sour.

Tamzen Temple:  Yeahhhhh.. You know he could’ve saved himself a whole lot of trouble if he didn’t involve the DIY of baby formula with liver and bone broth…. I have heard that breast is best… I reckon even the cavemen would agree with that…

Paleo: Yes and I’m sure they would but this is an alternative formula for the little ones.

Tamzen Temple: Yeah right, sure, whatever… Now my friend Marlon is a time traveller and he went back to the dinosaur age  time specifically for me and he has photographic proof that very few people back then had blue eyes and none had the crystal clear piercing blue eyes of Pete Evans which draw me to only one conclusion.

Paleo:  And what would that stupid conclusion be?

Tamzen Temple:  Aliens…. If you think about it aliens have big sky eyes… they are almost flawless in their complexion.. Like Pete, they are slightly rigid in their movements and … sky blue  eyes…  all that hovering in the atmosphere…

Paleo: If  I had have known you were this brainless I would never have agreed to this interview.

Tamzen Temple:  Ummm some may say brainless but many say brilliant in exposing the truth.

Paleo: Just get on with it.. You have five minutes of my time left.

Tamzen Temple:  Oh and that Atkins… I mean I’m part Italian so I actually have spaghetti veins with rich, red wine saucy blood flowing through … Atkins is not an option for me because I seriously need carbs and geezzz.. Look at Sophia Loren.. If that is what a good spag bol does then I’m on it every day of the week.  Actually I would not be surprised if she drank olive oil in a champagne glass.. I mean that skin… that flawless complexion… I am so starting that Mediterranean diet…

Paleo: Yes she is gorgeous.  All I know though is that fur and fire seems to be the key.. It is instinct for us to be like cavemen.  To hunt and gather and all was ruined once farmed animals and processed foods came about.

Tamzen Temple:  It does make me wonder, based your whole diet, why did God or the aliens give us cows because correct me if I’m wrong, dairy is on the outer with you.  Maybe the cows are here for a greater purpose…. It really makes you think about the creation of life, doesn’t it?

Paleo:  I’d rather not think about anything you have said Tamzen Temple….

So that was it.  Paul Leo, or Paleo as I came to know him left as quick as he entered.  Like a fad for the moment that will return, he walked straight out of the Temple rambling about finding firewood and skinning a cow for his winter coat.

Oh just eat and diet as you want.  Finding a diet that suits you is great and if the Paleo way is it, that’s awesome.   I just find it incredibly disturbing that the cookbook in question is willing to take risks with a child/baby’s health with DIY mulched up liver made formula.

Allow them to eat a balanced diet and like any extreme religion, diet or cause…do what you want, follow whatever God or alien you please but if it’s extreme or a cult, leave the kids out of it.

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This is a Minterview

Peace and Ommmm from the Temple.

Have you joined the Temple Tribe.  Just enter your email and you’re part of the most amazing revolution of niceness. xx

Interview with the Temple Guru….

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The Guru and me looking a wee bit too serious and grumpy in the aftermath of Hurricane Bronzy……

     I often receive emails asking about the Temple Guru.  Tell us more about him, who is he, why is he so handsome and what bars can I find him at???   Well Miranda Kerr, I will not tell you any of these things and will give you just the one warning.  Stay away from my Guru. I know he was most likely the reason for your break up but he is far too dedicated and in love with me to give you a second thought and the tattoo of you on his arm is almost gone with the laser treatment.

Anywho for all my lovely reader friends I tried to get the inside scoop on him in a impromptu interview with the man himself.

Tamzen Temple:  Hello Guru.

Guru:  Why are you saying hello?  You just gave me a kiss and said good morning five minutes ago.

Tamzen Temple: Yes but now I’m interviewing you for the Temple.

Guru: Ahhhhh great. Yep, just what I feel like doing on this Sunday morning.

Tamzen Temple:  So Guru.  How are you feeling about the world today?

Guru:  Um well there are dishes everywhere that appeared from nowhere.  It’s been raining for days so our lounge is full of clothes hanging and Hurricane Bronze had demolished any area that was tidy.

Tamzen Temple: And this bothers you?

Guru: Well, let’s just say most Temples are a little tidier than this on a Sunday.

Tamzen Temple: Yeah, agreed.  But what do we do?  We could loan him out for the day.

Guru: Not a chance.

Tamzen Temple: OK, back to the interview. Now how do you feel about being the partner of an incredible Temple Queen like myself?

Guru:  Are you serious?

Tamzen Temple:  I know. Take your time, this answer requires deep thinking as not many can fathom the absolute honor of being in your position.

Guru: Do you think 9.30 is too early to start drinking?

Tamzen Temple: Are you avoiding answering?

Guru: Not at all.  I just have an enormous urge to drink and do the housework at the moment.

Tamzen Temple: Ok I’ll do the lounge, you do the kitchen.

Guru: Sounds great.  Just stay in there and I’ll see you this afternoon.

I don’t know why the Guru avoids my interviews.  He is rather an interesting character.  He is a rough and rugged tradie that rearranges the furniture to create better Feng Shui.  He folds the clothes perfectly yet finds it impossible to pick up his dirty socks.

He very rarely takes the bins out, mainly because he saw the episode of Underbelly (for my international friends it was a series about the underworld of Australia) where  a crim got shot doing that same task: So to play it safe from any of his dark past he says it’s safer for him not to do this ever.  (Bin nights allow hitman to know exactly when to make a hit)

The Guru also refuses, or chooses to ignore that we have supermarkets in the world and may only venture to one a couple of times a year.  He is ignorant when it comes to supermarkets and thinks that the food he eats just appears in the cupboard or fridge.  Yet he always asks for random things like special puffed wheat cereal  or magic berries with heaps of antioxidants and jam doughnuts. Contradiction Guru!!  (BTW If you want these special foods go shopping yourself!!)

He wants to be an actor, or should I say, he is one and the neighbors must sometimes wonder about our lives when he screams lines from the Godfather or Taxi Driver.

Oh I pray for my lovely Guru that George does the right thing and makes a final gesture of peace to us by calling Micko the Guru for Ocean’s 14.  We also hope that our Temple may one day be tidy for more than ten minutes.

Ommmm and Peace from the Temple xx

How messy is your Temple? Scroll, scroll down to let us know your comments.

 

guru

 

Me and The Guru on a picnic relaxing a few years back before

Hurricane Bronzy arrived.

 

We got bragged about. Click the pic below to see where.

http://www.braggables.com.au/temple-speaks-us-ommmm/

 

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This was a Minterview

Jamie Oliver you have stolen 3 hrs of my life.

After countless weeks of pursuing Jamie Oliver, his PR agent, his wife and assistants to try and bring you an exclusive to the myth of the ‘fifteen minute meal’, I had to face reality.

The rejection was enormously clear and the reply from all of them was this.  “Just go away Tamzen Temple”.  So after a few glasses of red, holding the cookbook itself asking ‘why oh why won’t any of them talk to me?’, this hardback cookbook  started talking back.

I wanted to ask it the hard hitting questions to Jamie’s 15 minute meal cookbook (15 mm)  and it was only to willing to set me straight.

I am however, no closer to any answers.  Read and I’ll let you make your own decision.

Tamzen Temple:  Hey 15mm

15 mm: Hello, Chow.

Tamzen Temple:  Now you’re the actual book , 15 Minute Meals, that Jamie put together.

15 mm: That’s right.  I have a lovely green cover with a slip that has Jamie’s head on it and an abundance of delicious recipes inside my belly.

Tamzen Temple:  I’m wondering, do you feel some responsibility by misleading people that they can actually cook the recipes you hold in fifteen minutes?

15 mm:  We’re not misleading people, of course they can do them in fifteen minutes.  Jamie does, he’s tried and tested them.

Tamzen Temple: Yeah I dunno to be honest, I believe the whole time of a 15 minute meal thing to be a conspiracy.

15 mm:  Why do you say that?  You can see Jamie on TV doing it and it’s timed.  There’s no conspiracy at all.

Tamzen Temple:  Come on, fess up.  It takes me hours, sometimes days to prepare for one of these meals.

15 mm:  I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Tamzen Temple:  Well first I have to read and re read and re read the recipe to even get where I have to begin.  Then I read and reread as I’m doing it so that alone adds probably ten minutes to the time.

15 mm:  That’s fair, but if you have everything ready and planned it should be fine and after cooking them a few times you’ll have it down pact to 15 minutes.

Tamzen Temple: Yeah right, like 5 pots, 2 pans, a big platter, flipper, tongs, colander, red socks and a british accent, ‘pucker mate’. What does that even mean?

15 mm:  It means cool, great, etc.  I really think you’re being a bit silly.

Tamzen Temple:  Well maybe I exaggerate slightly but there are a lot of ingredients, some up to 20 in one recipe.

15 mm:  That’s right.  If you want it to be tasty ya gotta have the ingredients matey.

Tamzen Temple:  I’m not a pirate and neither are you so why are you talking that way?

15mm:  Hey, the focus is always on Jamie, I’m just letting loose a little, OK!

Tamzen Temple: Sure, ok, fine. Well my argument is that in order to even begin I have to buy these twenty or so ingredients. The list alone takes me a few minutes to write.

15 mm:  Just take a snapshot with your camera phone.

Tamzen Temple: Good idea. Then it’s the search for those ingredients.

15 mm: It’s not hard, you just shop.

Tamzen Temple:  Ha! You say that but I walk around aimlessly looking for Kaffir leaves, Googling a photo of celeriac and garum masala on my phone and then backtracking to previous aisle as I missed it and had to ask several store assistants for help. Sometimes it can take me over an hour just to shop for the ingredients, only to get home to find I forgot the vodka.

15 mm:  Oh there’s only vodka or brandy in a couple of recipes and it’s optional.

Tamzen Temple:  But admit it,  the alcohol part is good just to have on hand to survive the ordeal.  You know a quick swig while cooking to get through.

15 mm:  Well maybe, but once you have these ingredients in the cupboard or fridge, that’s it, you don’t have to buy them again for a while.

Tamzen Temple:  Yes of course you’ll take his side.  How about you give me the scoop, what’s Jamie really like?

15 mm:  He’s ok.  You know mostly I dealt with his assistants.  They set up all the pots, pans knives and stuff. Fill the kettle ready, they do the shopping for him and….

Tamzen Temple:  Ahh gottchya. See it might take him fifteen minutes but he has a team preparing the kitchen, buying the ingredients and most likely packing everything up dishes and all afterward.  I swear, when the Temple Guru gets home from work, he can tell we’re having a Jamie 15 minute meal because he looks at all the dishes and just nods his head to show me he appreciates the effort I went to.

15 mm: But does he enjoy them?  I mean the role I play in all this?  They are contained all inside my hard cover and I do my best to present them to you the best I can.

Tamzen Temple:  Oh yeah, we love them. They are delicious but I seriously have to start in the morning. Get everything chopped and prepared, then once that’s done it takes fifteen from then.

15 mm:  Look I think in the end some people are natural cooks.  I’ve seen you in action Tamzen.  You’re hopeless, some use me as extra to extend their knowledge.  You’re using me from a virgin cook’s perspective.  You have no idea what you’re doing and are trying to shift the blame to Jamie.  He’s only trying to make your life better.  You should ask your taste buds. I bet they’ve never been happier.

Tamzen Temple: That is true.  I’m loving lentils and asparagus, something I thought would never happen.

 

Oh Jamie Oliver, if you are ever in Australia would you come to my house and cook a meal for me and the Guru and the wee one?  I challenge you and I’ll set the timer and only then will I believe it is possible. The Temple Guru sends his thanks for giving him something other than spag or mashed potato.

Ommm we send thanks that we are lucky enough to have food and realise this is a first world problem.  Xx Peace if I had one wish it would be that we may all be abundant in healthy food and warmth (especially those precious children) xxx from the Temple.

This is a Minterview

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If you want to see what happened when I asked George Clooney a few questions click here

Photo from Flickr Scandic Hotels

What Sort of Biscuit are You?

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What sort of biscuit are you?

The question came about one night while working with a guy called Bob.  “I’m a soft centre biscuit,”  He said.  “Would never hurt anyone.”

Hmm I thought as I looked at the selection.  There were just  too many to choose from, an Oreo, Mint Slice, Anzac, or even some type of cracker.  I found my eyes drawn to the Gingernuts.

“Oh that’s me for sure.” I said and it wasn’t just because of my red hair.  Gingernut biscuits are loved mainly by the older generation.  Those around 50 years old or less, have yet to warm to them fully and anyone younger than that think Gingernuts are just bitter and yuk.

Those on the cusp may buy a packet and have a taste of the bitter biscuit with that hint of sweetness and most likely screw up their face throwing the uneaten half out, but not the packet.  They’ll keep it because they may change their mind.

So that sums me up.  Did I mention I’m a cheap home brand version as well? Yes it’s true because there are simply no frills about me, I’m cheap and reliable.

What sort of biscuit are you?

My friend Jo and I have determined, after definitely agreeing she is one coated in chocolate, that she is a Chocolate Caramel Crown.  My first thought was that she is a Chocolate Royal but she’s even grander than that as she has a golden centre.

I’d love to hear what you are. I’m still trying to figure out what Micko is, hmmm actually thinking about it he’s a pack of Assorted Creams as one isn’t enough to define him.  (Life with him is like a Monte Carlo gamble, and full of Melting Moments. Ahhhh)

I’d love to hear just what sort of biscuit you are and why.

biscuitbiscuit

 

Ommmm & chomp from the Temple.

 

 

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Kitchen Gadgets: More Ridiculous and Useless Items

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Easter Sunday I had to run to the supermarket to gather a few supplies as my kitchen cupboards were bare.  Ninety dollars later I wandered past one of my favorite discount shops and was lured in with red signs promising massive savings.  I  have to avoid these bargain stores as impulse purchases lead to clutter leads to a waste of space and money but I just couldn’t resist.

You can imagine my delight when I found some more useless items, all within the same hanging space.  I looked above as I was certain there would  be a sign directing consumers to take the advice of the Temple before purchasing a ridiculous item but found none.  I got out my phone and snapped away thinking of you all.

  • An avocado keeper:  Oh woe is  me, this is a tricky one to approach as I guy I work with admits his girlfriend has one of these.  When I asked him, “what happens if you only eat a quarter, or if you’re left with a quarter?”  He stared blankly wondering if it was a riddle or a real question. I won’t ever need one of these as the price of avocados has doubled over the duration of my son’s life.  We used to squander three or four a week between us in his early days.  Now he looks up and me and asks, “where’s the ‘cado mum?” A now distant memory and   it’s not because we don’t have a keeper, it’s because they are overpriced.  And for the love of the Temple, who needs a special slicer for these pale green delights?
  • A cucumber hat.  Keep them fresh for longer.  To all you people that purchase fruit and vegetables or have leftover food, there is a product called Clingwrap. It’s thin plastic that you can wrap around any sort of food to keep fresh.  There are also snap bags if you want to go that way.

I wonder if the other vegetables and fruit in the fridge just hate that the avocado has a special belted coat or are they green with envy of the cucumber with that special little hat.

Oh hang on, food is meant to be eaten, not adorned with ridiculous outfits to keep longer.  I now know what happens when we shut the fridge door and the light goes out.  Well it doesn’t dim at all,  but instead a runway gets rolled out and all the fruit and veggies with their coats and hats parade the latest ridiculous purchases of their owners.

But where in life a jacket can last a life time, these stupid storers outlast the needs of the people using them not just  the fruit that lies on them.  These plastic fad items won’t decompose instead they stay forever in landfill.

  • A strawberry huller,  um I thought the stems where nature’s handles as you hold them and gulp them down, or just USE A KNIFE please.
  • I should have read the instructions but from what I could see it would take more skill to get the egg in the hole to than to separate it.  I’d love to hear from any adult that seriously has trouble separating eggs.  Sure there is a bit of skill involved but it’s a skill you might learn in your teens, if you haven’t by then, go ahead and be lured into all these or give it a go.  I always feel a sense of victory when I separate and don’t get any yolk or shells in the white.  (It’s the small victories)
  • A hard boiled egg without the shell maker.  Manufacturers, a warning.  stop interfering with the way nature intended things to be, throw out the shell afterward, no dishes.

Just remember the rules of these purchases.  If you don’t have a look on our first post of ridiculous items.

strawberry hullerIMG_4517egg separator 

 

Chi and zen to all

Ommm and Ohhh please don’t buy.

Check out our orignal list of ridiculous and useless items under CHI lifestyle

Xo Tam