The Gomez Girls: Interview with the Author

Who is Tamara Zito and What are Gomez Girls?

During my death I discovered there was another me….

So I thought it only right to interview the other me Tamara Zito.  She is not only the creator of Tamzen Temple, blogger and mundane model but the author of the new amazing book The Gomez Girls.

Here it is.

Tamzen Temple: Thanks for being here considering I’m dead.

Tamara Zito: You’re actually not dead, it was the only way I could shut you up while I did something worthwhile.

Tamzen Temple: Then tell us what have you been doing while I’ve gone to heaven.

Tamara Zito:  I actually completed my book that I started over twelve years ago called the Gomez Girls.

Tamzen Temple: Wow, it must be a great literary work to take that long.

Tamara Zito: Not really but it is a great concept and bit of a juicy read with some twists and swearing in it.

Tamzen Temple:  Why is it called The Gomez Girls though?

Tamara Zito:  I love Gomez Addams. Let’s face it he is hilarious, gentlemanny, adores Morticia, filthy rich with lots of spare time and any woman would be lucky to have him as a  husband. I believe that as we are born with a man’s name then possibly when we get married we get stuck with a husband’s surname, that for those who hate their husband or father they should have the option of claiming the Gomez name.  So it’s about women around the world uniting and ridding themselves of a name from men who are idiots, unfaithful or unreliable and being part of a cool group. (please note we love Gomez Guys too as there are lots of crazy women)

Tamzen Temple: WOW. That is the most brilliant concept I have ever heard of. Is there more to the book?

Tamara Zito:  Totally. Jess Bingle is the blogger who creates the Gomez Girls and she’s a freaky unhinged fruitcake and she hangs out with two housemates and has random sex with some guy called Jack..

Tamzen Temple: She sounds cool.

Tamara Zito: She is…… a lot like most bloggers I know.

Tamzen Temple: So how much and where can I buy this soon to be cult classic book from?

Tamara Zito: From AMAZON and it’s only $8.88 aus dollars because I heard that in China 8 is a lucky number so thought I’d use that formula as a sure fire way of becoming a best seller.

Tamzen Zito: You’re pretty silly with numbers hey?

Tamara Temple:  Sure are. I failed maths but am rooly good with werds.

Tamnez Temzi: Why are our names getting mucked up?

Tample Zimple: Because we are one of the same. Just go buy the book as it’s just like me buying you a coffee for $4.44 and then myself a coffee for $4.44 only without the coffee and me benefiting from your money and continuing to write more good words.

Timple Tito: I will. I shall also go like the Gomez Girls Instagram Page and share a pic of my copy there and on Facebook or Twitter with all my friends.

Zebra : Thanks for your time.  The Gomez Girls is the best book this year and all women and men who are unhappy should definitely change their surnames to Gomez.

Groundbreaking news; Women who are considering changing their surnames to Gomez for obvious reasons … Melena Trump, Nadia off Married at First Sight,  Peg Bundy, Brooke Logan, Katie Holmes.

Let us know if you know any others or tell me if you read The Gomez Girls and what you thought.

Scroll, scroll down to tell.

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Not A Mummy Blogger: Blog Secrets

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Blogger Secrets and Success

OK!! Here it is. So many fans, billions of fans ask me constantly, Tamzen Temple … How did you begin your blogging journey?

Today I took the time to reflect on this and put together this informative, ridiculous vlog to explain all things blogging.

I tell you why I was in blogger denial and why being a blogger isn’t so bad.

I reveal why I’m not a mummy blogger…  Although the title pic probably speaks for itself.

I give you insight to the blogging world and I reveal the truth behind blogging myths.

If you want to know how bloggers create Instagram content then you should click on my new vlog.

Please note… I have no idea what I’m talking about most of the time and cannot take responsibility if you follow any of my advice.

 

So what did you think. Do you feel more confident now to create awesome Instagram content?

Do you want to begin being a blogger?  It’s a wonderful, time consuming world that no one can prepare you for. Just jump in and do it.

Join me on YouTube for future pointless vlogs and mini-temple movies.

Are you a blogger?  Are you going to start blogging?
I’d love to know. Scroll scroll down to tell me all your thoughts.

xoxoxo Tamzen Temple…. Blogger.

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Seventy and Live Music at the Temple

Live at the Temple: Seventy

Music makes your heart sing and recent studies have found that singing will improve your brainpower by feeding the happiness section with seventy molecular bio beans proven by Einstein to make you smile.

They also discovered whilst eating doughnuts during the study that and awesome music will help you loose weight by making you shake your booty. (unfounded research and words used)

I don’t believe that there is a single person in the world who could say they hate music. There is just too many styles (over seventy) and artists to choose from to put a blanket hate on them all just as loving them all is going to be highly unlikely.

But there will be a tune, a beat, a symphony, a hum that evokes an memory a feeling of happiness, sadness, love or just plain annoyance.

Things have been quiet here on my blog because I have finally convinced the Temple Guru to just freaking sing.  He likes a song or two and is the guy that gives beautiful, amazing speeches at weddings, has the words to color the world and the heart to fully express it.

So after years of my non-musical, screeching voice yelling, annoying, pestering him to just sing, he finally got his mates Madge and Vaughn to hang out and jam.

I have discovered that among this singing is a songwriting wiz who has created with his mates, some freaking awesome tunes beyond what I thought possible.

I wanted to share with you my favorite song thus far called Seventy, that the boys have created.  Micko wrote the lyrics, Madge and Vaughn the music.  They play weekly in the shed Saturday afternoons at 2.30 and we stream live on Periscope. (Australian est)

So here is the big hit to be of 2016 as predicted by Dylan.

It’s called Seventy.

We hope you enjoy and join us Live at the Temple when you can.  Follow us to follow their journey each Saturday or head to the Temple Youtube channel to see the latest.

Peace Ommmm and music to all.
Like it, share it and I’ll love you forever.

xoxo Tamzen Temple

Copyright and disclaimer

List of Cats

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List of Cats

Meow: Cats freak me out a little.  There I said it out loud for everyone to hear and all the world to judge me..

I love animals but cats are a bit too smart for me and they know I am not a cuddly type person and they try to change me.  If I ever venture into the home of a cat owner, their cat/s take it on themselves to jump on my lap and make themselves comfy. It freaks me out to have a warm creature on my lap.

“They like you” The ‘owners’ say.

Well the Guru likes you but you don’t see him jumping on your lap. We’ve only just met for God’s sake and all that slinky fur, meowing, witch connotation, Grumpy/Fat/Felix the cat and the claws that once scratched me as a child have turned me into a cat avoider.

“Please remove this warm patch off my lap.”  I try to enter their heads with telekinesis but they don’t hear.  “I told Bronzy not to stand on your couch.  Let’s swap. I’ll hold my child and the cat can jump on the couch. Fair?”

I’m also a bit of a germaphobe so I don’t want a smooch with any animal that carry dead birds or mice.

Pleeeeasssee note. I like cats I think they are cute and kittens absolutely adorable but I’m more of a dog or plant person, not a patter or a holder.

Cats are too delicate for this clumsy Temple Queen and there’s only one queen in my temple and that’s me. A cat would surely take the title if I allowed one in the home.

Spiders and cats both intimidate me because they have such confidence, such style and you never know what they’ll do next.  I have catnaphobia….

So here’s a list of cats that may enter the Temple

Cat Stevens:  Oh Yusuf Cat… you really do have all the right words to my heart or at least do when I’m drunk or high. I feel those words man and you really do understand my pain, my emotion and show the story, not just tell it.  Peace brother and moonshadow the cat in the cradle away. xoxo

Kit Kat: Chocolate, wafer…. and although spelt with a K, I forgive you and love you all the same because I can eat you….

Meercats: You guy and girls are not mere at all. You’re the most and are so funny to watch and that ‘compare the market/meerkat’ is adorable…

Catapillar: Metamorphis is my most favorite word and how cool is it that you are willing to change.  You’re awesome and they even named a earthmoving truck thingy company after you.

Cat in the Hat: Coolest dude. Why wasn’t I given you as a child? I was robbed and love all the ridiculous things about you. You should come to Australia and run for PM.  Your chances are good.

Cat Deely:  You can come visit but I’ll make sure Micko is out of the house as you’re too pretty and tall and blonde. Not that I’m at all threatened.. I mean we’re so different. I’m short,  brunette colored red bumpy hipped chick who likes Kit Kats.  And also an alert.. The Guru loves to dance and would bombard you with his dance moves to try and move up the ladder in the competition.

The Cat Empire: I would so like to see you live.  How do you all fit in a car?  Where did you come up with that name. Who cares you guys are the bomb. The music, the sounds, the coolness.

Cat Mario Game: I have no idea what this is.. I hate gaming so you can only come for a short stay as I’m half Italian and you are half Mario.

Cat on a Hot Tin Roof: This is that strange movie with lots of yelling and Paul Newman, Elizabeth Taylor getting lucky at the end in hope to score a baby in her belly.  The whole Big Daddy thing also freaks me as any cat would but Paul Newman was hot before the whole mayonnaise thing.. Now even hotter with all that charity money he gives. Bless his heart.

Cat Woman: Black latex and purring.  You wicked woman.

Cat Zingano: How could I refuse you. You are freaking tuff and scary.  Come over anytime you power woman. U Freaking Champion……

Cat Ballou:  Oh go check out Jane Fonda at her absolute best and most beautiful.  A classic movie.

Anywho.  One of the problems with cats is that they are taking over the internet, TV and they are outshining me.  All the hard work of creating gets overshadowed by cats…

Ohhh I’m not jealous or bitter but how many more cat gifs and vids can we see before they truly take over the world.

Micko is a frustrated, I mean he’s an out of work actor.. Now if he was a cat he would be on screen constantly but no!! The time he spent studying acting in Hollywood and OZ means nothing.. The cats get first click and well.. he’s kinda lost the plot with it all.

So we made this cat video.  “What this cat does next” Is his way of admitting defeat.  May the cats rule the world.

Peace and OMG enough of the cats already.

xoxo Tamzen Temple

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Gay Marriage & Tony Abbott

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Tony Abbott Gay Marriage Exclusive:  The Temple

With Australia unable to hit a ball in The Ashes, the best score of the month was from me.  An interview with Prime Minister Tony Abbott.  It came as no surprise that he is equally as robotic in real life as that you see on the TV.  With zero personality and a mind no bigger than a shrivelled up pea, I wondered why I even bothered.

The bodyguards nearby meant  there was no chance for me to lean over give him a gentle slap to wake him from his prehistoric thoughts and remind him of the Temple message of to “just be freaking nice. OK!!”

Here it is.

Tamzen Temple:  Mr Abbott thanks for joining me today.

PM Tony Abbott:  The pleasure is all mine Tamzen Temple.  Been a big fan for a while now.

Tamzen Temple: Yes many have but onto what is really the topic of the moment.

PM Tony Abbott: Oh yes…  Kim and Kanye.. I’m wondering what they’ll call their baby too.  Easterly Windy West is a good one.  I thought up a heap more if you want to hear them.

Tamzen Temple:  No Mr Prime Minister.  I’m talking about gay marriage.  Marriage equality and why you won’t allow a vote?

PM Tony Abbott: I have stated my position and won’t discuss the whole voting gaysish thingy.

Tamzen Temple: Answer me this then Mr PM.  Why are you against gay marriage?

PM Tony Abbott: It’s simple.  I believe that marriage is between a man and a woman.  It’s a union of two of the opposite sex and with the intention of procreating. Oh also God spoke to me and said that I shall go to hell if I allow gay marriage to be passed.

Tamzen Temple:  God spoke to you?

PM Tony Abbott: Yes he often does.  I suppose he sees an image of himself in me in that  we both have this power to set what is right in the world.  He relies on me to make sure that these queers do not unite in matrimony.

Tamzen Temple: What the F*&%.  How can you speak like that about any human?  They are not queers and to call them that is putting a label on them.

PM Tony Abbott: Well it is the majority that are actually thinking this way, my way.  Most are just too afraid to come out and say it.

Tamzen Temple:  I think you’re wrong there PM.  Labels are dangerous and usually used by the ignorant and just as I may agree that you are a dinosaur in your thinking, does not mean I label you  a freaking backward caveman.

PM Tony Abbott: I have spoken with the lord and other members of parliament and they all agree with me that they would rather keep their jobs than vote for these odd, same sex, in love people to be allowed the right to marry.

Tamzen Temple:  But can’t you see how obvious it is.  This is about love, not hate.  It’s about two people who want to legally unite in marriage because of love. Same sex  couples have to declare being a couple in the eyes of government.  They have to declare being a defacto couple  if claiming any government benefits and are seen as a couple when making claims yet you won’t allow marriage.

PM Tony Abbott: This is true however legally they should not be allowed to marry.

Tamzen Temple:  But you will consider a vote if re-elected in 2017?

PM Tony Abbott:  Absolutely not.  That’s just me covering my ass for the next election.  (Laughs at himself) Listen closely Tamzen Temple.  To pass a law like this will cost thousands in paperwork.  I am instead putting this money this term and the next,  should I be re-elected, into medical research to further explore and hopefully find a cure for gayness. I am hoping with this funding that by the year 2020 that no man or women shall suffer gayness through programs we are putting into place as we speak.

Gays will have the option of hypnosis to cure their gayness, shock treatment, experimental injections and ongoing support groups.    Boy on boy and girl on girl germs will be a thing of the past and we can all move forward in a new era of non gayness. I can wear my speedoes without fear of these gay creatures checking me out and yearning for a marriage that will never happen.

Tamzen Temple:  You’re an idiot.

PM Tony Abbott: Amen.

Oh please I beg thee Temple Gods to forgive me for such name calling… It is not the Temple way but hey, you must not be the same God he’s chatting too……

I plea with thee to open the minds of those who are prehistoric in their thoughts allow a country to vote rather than one man to decide.
Do you believe in same sex marriage?  Scroll, scroll down to let me know.

Peace and love from the Temple.

 

This is a minterview.

Copyright and disclaimer  plus further disclaimer below.

Please note:  The Temple is not a political site and their preference or opinion of the Prime Minister and or any political party is private.  The matter at hand however was what prompted this post.

 

Afro, Illness & Gay Marriage: Lies Exposed

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The Biggest Lies Exposed

I don’t know what the big deal is about that chick claiming she was African American..

I mean aside from the totes giveaway of freckly fair skin covered by thick make up,  that hair alone, which as a former hairdresser I can declare, is either a wig or a tightly wound perm with forte solution.   I think she may done in-depth research into African American hair history and based it on Beyonce in Austin Powers…..

That health blogger Ms Gibson pretending she was terminally ill even though she was a picture of health. Did the fact that she was glowing not give anyone an indication or like the B word, the C word is out of bounds for questioning.

If someone says I am black or have cancer we go into freak out overdrive of racial etiquette or sympathy without questioning anything, even a lie that stands blatantly in front of us.

Let’s face it we all pretend to be something we’re not.. or think we’re something we aren’t .

Take me… I am certain that I am a supermodel but am quickly questioned if I ever tell anyone this.. “You couldn’t possibly be a supermodel. You’re too short for starters…and maybe a little robust in the thigh area.”

There’s the not so Christian Aussie couple that said they would divorce should gay marriage become legal in Australia. We know they’re full of S&%$. Think of their children living in a split family. They will be surely shunned by the community for being raised by divorcees.  Oh hang on, it isn’t the 1950s, no one will care.

Bruce Jenner lived a long life pretending to be a male when really underneath it all there was the beautiful Caitlyn.   Like Superman had to don his Clarke Kent outfit to fit in, I see Caitlyn had to do much the same. He now she, was living in an alter ego not by choice but because it was required for the masses to cope.

I draw a whirly moustache with Vegemite and do Mexican accent when I serve Tacos although no one appreciates this or pulls me up on my lie and let me tell you it is not done with any disrespect.  I just figure the tacos may taste better if I introduce an added cultural aspect to them.

I actually get picked on for highlighting in conversation a person’s racial, age, height or general  status when telling a story..  What the!?   You may scream..

I believe person’s background be it race, height, age, status or sex has a whole lot to do with everything.

So here’s my day to day conversations as judged by the world in no particular order to no particular person but it’s just the way I talk. OK!  Please don’t judge me.

Tamzen Temple:   I was telling my friend about,  this guy from work who is black..

World (yelling) : What has that got to do with anything Tamzen Temple? That is such a racist thing to do, to mention that he is black.. What does that matter ?  Tell the story without mentioning the B word.

Tamzen Temple: Well, this guy at work was really upset the other day because a customer asked him if he played basketball. This woman said she loved Lebron James and then asked if he played.

World:  Well does he?

Tamzen Temple:  No he does not.    He’s the most uncoordinated black guy I have ever met.  He can’t catch, can’t bounce, can’t jump and can’t throw and his dance moves are shameful to his ancestors.

World:  Can you hear yourself.  You are stereotyping him.

Tamzen Temple: No I am paying homage to all the great stereotypical things. I ignore the bad ones because they are made by small minded people.  I believe it’s everyone else that has the problem so I then went on to apologise for all of us.  Anywho there was this Chinese lady….

World:  Stop, have you not learned anything from what I just said?

Tamzen Temple: OK.. This lady from class gave me some herbs for my cold.

World:  Is she a naturopath, doctor?

Tamzen Temple:  No if you listened I said she was  Chinese and gave me some herbs and for me and I believe her ethnicity gives her greater creed to herbal remedies…  Oh come on. You can picture this beautiful wise Chinese lady in an ancient store made of straw and mud who mixes remedies that are centuries old.  By stating her racial background is only adding to the story and allowing a clearer picture in your head.  I am so not being racist I am merely pointing out how being a certain race gives you a trustworthiness in an ancient practice.

Or…

An Indian girl I was teaching..

World:  WTF does it freaking matter where she is from?????????  Go On…..

Tamzen Temple:  Well if you let me finish…. She is going back to her homeland to pick up her baby.  She had him here eighteen months ago and took him back for her parents to raise while she finished her course.  So now she’s done, she’s picking him up.  It has happened with many of my students and they are all from India. It’s gut wrenching for them to be apart for so long but was quite common among my students. I’m visualizing the flight… the meet up at the busy Delhi airport, the tears from all the family.

World:  Oh we apologise… Definitely not a practice I’ve heard any Aussies doing.  I mean they may but..

Tamzen Temple:  Exactly this is something many of them go through and heartbreaking to think of the sacrifice she has made to try to get an education so she’ll have a better future for her family. Phew.  Well my uncle who’s Italian..

World:  Just stop this madness.. Try telling the story without mentioning he’s Italian.

Tamzen Temple:  Well fine then….. This guy who is related…… he just handed down the recipe for my great grandmother’s meatballs….  You see this is where you’re wrong.. For starters by saying he’s my uncle you have a rough indication of his age, to say he’s Italian shows that the recipe is most likely awesome and originated from Italy where spaghetti is king and the meatballs are made among the olive groves.

I have one that you cannot pick me up on…. My friend.  He’s gay and is coming shopping with me to pick out a dress…..

World:  True, true.. Most do have exquisite taste.

Tamzen Temple: So now it’s ok for you to make assumptions based on stereotypes… Ok there’s this model who is a size 22. That is pretty big BTW…

World:  Oh not again…

Tamzen Temple:  Listen I’m trying to tell you. She has just been signed to a major agency and proving the critics wrong.   Oh whatever I can see you’re judging me.  Well how about this sad story.  The other day at the market there was this old lady…

World:  You are now attacking the old…Don’t be so ageist….

Tamzen Temple: OMG.. Ok.. this lady… Alrighty then.  This female, no.. this person of no particular gender,  fell today and then someone stole her/his handbag while she was down and her husband died of a heart attack with all the stress.

World:  Hmmm I suppose that wouldn’t happen to a young person.. Well parts of it would but… We’ll allow you to address an age then.

Tamzen Temple:  But of all these I do have to point out this amazing phenomenom.  I was shopping one night on a full moon with the Guru and I said to him…”There is a whole lot of bearded hipster-like guys here tonight.”

World:  So what?

Tamzen Temple:  Well I said to the Guru.  “Don’t you think it’s weird that in every aisle there is a bearded guy with a plaid shirt, top pony tail and skinny jeans.”

World:  You’re so picky. Who cares?

Tamzen Temple:  Well maybe there is a link between hipsters and a full moon… I mean usually they have their fair-haired or dark haired partner with a thick scarf as a headband with them.   But maybe on full moons they are allowed to venture out alone…

World: Stop talking Tamzen Temple.

So I did.

So back to people pretending to be something they are not.  If this bad attempt at an afro haired lady feels she is black let her be… If she believes she is entitled to the history that the blacks have lived through, let her be.. if she believes that the segregation, freedom, equality, human rights that generations fought  for, let her be…

Hang on a minute.  That above statement is a croc of crap. How dare she lie and then take on a role within the African American community.  This is mocking history and the struggles they have been through and the battles they have fought and continue to fight for equality.

There are the stereotypical things that are can be offensive and oh so wrong but there are the positive rich parts to a culture that have been earned and traditions handed down. ‘Identifying’ with being black is ridiculous and this non black woman, like the Belle health blogger faking an illness, to the couple faking a toddler tantrum that they will divorce is just totes ridiculous.

So I declare that the only people allowed to pretend to be someone else are superheroes.

Superheroes do it all the time.. pretend to be something they’re not but so do people like volunteers or nurses or ambos or police….  They all don a uniform to highlight their role so no one gets confused.

They are mostly all awesome who take on the jobs that save lives and make the world a better place and pretend that it’s no big deal.

Pointing out a person’s cultural background by me is done with absolute respect but faking any illness or race is an absolute disgrace.

Oh and clowns should be banned… They freak me out man….

The rest of the pretenders can fade away into the abyss…

Please note if the faking is included in fine print like on a copyright or disclaimer area somewhere this makes it all totally fine….

Have you faked it?  Does it make you as angry as me with that so many are fakers?

Scroll scroll down to let me know. xxoo

Minion Quotes: The Truth.

The Minion Quotes’ Conspiracy

So this is my first vlog…  or bideo...

Oh yes I am a star on the Youtube circuit but needed to address a big issue.. actually two big issues.
Minions and quotes.
You must watch to really understand my concern.

POW: Yes I know I examine the big issues.  Stay tuned next week I will look at other quotes and the impact they are having on the world.

DO you love minions? DO you love quotes??

News Update:  Since writing this post it had been revealed that a Minion toy given away at McDonalds does in fact swear.  I apologise for being slightly incorrect in the Minion quote saga.  It turns out that a family purchased a Happy Meal for their child and on bringing it home the Minion said a profanity.

The Temple stands by their video above which outlines that not all Minions swear.  Just one from Maccas.

Have you seen Despicable Me? 
Oh do tell me all about it.  Did the Minions swear?
Are you a member of the Temple Tribe?
If you missed the pop up to join just head to the ‘you’re adorable’ section and enter your details. Confirm.. (check your spam and junk) and you will get a minion quote delivered to your mail box.. NOT!! I was kidding but you will get my free Ebook soon and random monthly-3monthly newsletters full of amazing stuff…
Xoxoxo

Tamzen Temple

Copyright and disclaimer

Minion image source

 

Johnny Depp’s Dogs Detained

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Dogs Detained in LA: Depp Devastated

Johnny Depp’s dogs Pistol and Boo have been detained on entering the US for smuggling marijuana into the country.

Earlier this  week Depp flew into Australia to film Pirates of the Caribbean when it was discovered he had illegally smuggled his pooches Pistol and Boo into the country on a private jet, not following Australian Quarantine Laws.

Now it appears it’s the dogs that are breaching the law.   Authorities in the States noticed that Pistol appeared agitated and pulled both dogs into an interview room to investigate why.

The bust occurred after the K9s refused to answer questions on the declaration form on if they were carrying any plant or animal substance.  A routine swab showed traces of the drug on their fur and an x-ray revealed they had each swallowed a condom filled with the green weed.
Pistol and Boo later confessed  that they had the drugs hidden internally but were forced out of Australia before they could pass them.
“Depp is not happy with us.  We had a job to do aside from being adorable and now we have f&*$ up big time.  Let me make this clear though,”  Pistol stated, “Boo was forced into this by me and should not face any prosecution .”
Depp stays in Australia, supposedly straight due  to his supplies drying up,  however he is believed to have made a detour to Byron Bay to speak to agents there in regard to organic produce.

Custom officials have refused to comment

Tamzen Temple Reporter Extrodianire/ Bad Spella

Phew…. We got onto this one quick.  We are now looking into other rogue pets who are breaking the law.

It appears that celebrities and stars have become rather mundane and are relying on their pets to create a scandal to distract from their boring ways.
Now Johnny Depp and I go way back to the days of Jump Street.  If you look closely you’ll see my hand passing him a coffee in an office scene.  I turned him down as I had seen a psychic earlier in that same week tell me I would be hit up for a date by two influential handsome guys and to pick the second one who would share a similar spiritual ethic to myself.   So I said no to Johnny and BAM! Tom Cruise asked me out…  yep… Scientology and all ended what could have been between Cruisy and I but JD and I stayed in touch.

I want to say to you Mr Depp as lifelong friends, don’t bring your pooches into our fair country for fear of infecting Oz’s produce and animals.

Do you have a troublesome pet?  Oh do tell me.. Or if you are friends with a star who does something interesting or controversial scroll, scroll down and do tell me about it pleeeeaasee.

This is a Minterview

If drugs are a problem and you would like to seek help click HERE

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Wonderful Women: Ellen

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I’m Yellin to Ellen…

Oh she is the one we admire the most here at the Temple..  Ellen……

Yes I started a few months back,  a campaign on my TEMPLE Instagram account for Ellen to call me….

(Follow ELLEN on IG HERE  or click pic above as she is the coolest)

I believe she is totes awesome and this is why.

She is dang funny and never at the expense of anyone… there it is…

Oh and by doing so she spreads joy and joy is awesome.

So head over to my Instagram and search for the hashtag   #tamzenellenbff comment anything to show your support….. on every pic… if you would like to get the Temple message of “just be freaking nice OK!!”

Oh I’d love to meet her one day but if not I’m just going to keep up the campaign for fun.

 

For copyright and disclaimer info click HERE

Paleo Pete or Paul?

The Paleo Notwithit Way.

With all the fuss over that Paleo cookbook Bubba Yum Yum..  I thought it was my duty to see why Pan Macmillan  backed off from publishing it,  only for author, celebrity chef Pete Evans to release it himself digitally.

Sure a few recipes for kids and bubs the Paleo way gives parents an option for an alternative but the concern was that the bone broth formula   “could cause “permanent damage” or kill infants due to its high salt and Vitamin A content.” 

So I interviewed Paleo himself….

Here’s a transcript of the interview.

Tamzen Temple:  Great to meet you Mr Paul Leo.

Paleo:  It’s Paleo.   Not Paul… Leo..

Tamzen Temple:  Is that like Madonna, like one name?

Paleo: No not like her… well yes it is just one word but she does the macrobiotic diet and I’m nothing like that.

Tamzen Temple:  What’s a macrobiotic diet?

Paleo:  It’s a lot of Japanese type food. Seaweed, miso soup, brown rice.

Tamzen Temple:  Hey I wonder…. were there Japanese cavemen?

Paleo:  Most probably.

Tamzen Temple: So I suppose a Palaeolithic diet would vary depending where you lived.  Like if you had a cave near the beach and saw some seaweed, you might just munch on that.

Paleo:  Are you really that ridiculous?

Tamzen Temple:  How so?

Paleo:  I am based on what people ate during the Palaeolithic times.  Now that mainly consists of lean meats, nuts and berries.

Tamzen Temple: Yes I have Wikied you and know what you’re about.  My main concern is those on it now;  those caught up in another diet fad, just don’t get that people of that time only lived an average age of 35 years… Is that because of the diet or did the dinosaurs eat them?

Paleo: Next question please.. and make it slightly intelligent please.  This is a very serious issue at the moment with the whole Pete Evans cookbook deal gone sour.

Tamzen Temple:  Yeahhhhh.. You know he could’ve saved himself a whole lot of trouble if he didn’t involve the DIY of baby formula with liver and bone broth…. I have heard that breast is best… I reckon even the cavemen would agree with that…

Paleo: Yes and I’m sure they would but this is an alternative formula for the little ones.

Tamzen Temple: Yeah right, sure, whatever… Now my friend Marlon is a time traveller and he went back to the dinosaur age  time specifically for me and he has photographic proof that very few people back then had blue eyes and none had the crystal clear piercing blue eyes of Pete Evans which draw me to only one conclusion.

Paleo:  And what would that stupid conclusion be?

Tamzen Temple:  Aliens…. If you think about it aliens have big sky eyes… they are almost flawless in their complexion.. Like Pete, they are slightly rigid in their movements and … sky blue  eyes…  all that hovering in the atmosphere…

Paleo: If  I had have known you were this brainless I would never have agreed to this interview.

Tamzen Temple:  Ummm some may say brainless but many say brilliant in exposing the truth.

Paleo: Just get on with it.. You have five minutes of my time left.

Tamzen Temple:  Oh and that Atkins… I mean I’m part Italian so I actually have spaghetti veins with rich, red wine saucy blood flowing through … Atkins is not an option for me because I seriously need carbs and geezzz.. Look at Sophia Loren.. If that is what a good spag bol does then I’m on it every day of the week.  Actually I would not be surprised if she drank olive oil in a champagne glass.. I mean that skin… that flawless complexion… I am so starting that Mediterranean diet…

Paleo: Yes she is gorgeous.  All I know though is that fur and fire seems to be the key.. It is instinct for us to be like cavemen.  To hunt and gather and all was ruined once farmed animals and processed foods came about.

Tamzen Temple:  It does make me wonder, based your whole diet, why did God or the aliens give us cows because correct me if I’m wrong, dairy is on the outer with you.  Maybe the cows are here for a greater purpose…. It really makes you think about the creation of life, doesn’t it?

Paleo:  I’d rather not think about anything you have said Tamzen Temple….

So that was it.  Paul Leo, or Paleo as I came to know him left as quick as he entered.  Like a fad for the moment that will return, he walked straight out of the Temple rambling about finding firewood and skinning a cow for his winter coat.

Oh just eat and diet as you want.  Finding a diet that suits you is great and if the Paleo way is it, that’s awesome.   I just find it incredibly disturbing that the cookbook in question is willing to take risks with a child/baby’s health with DIY mulched up liver made formula.

Allow them to eat a balanced diet and like any extreme religion, diet or cause…do what you want, follow whatever God or alien you please but if it’s extreme or a cult, leave the kids out of it.

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