Tony Abbott Gay Marriage Exclusive: The Temple
With Australia unable to hit a ball in The Ashes, the best score of the month was from me. An interview with Prime Minister Tony Abbott. It came as no surprise that he is equally as robotic in real life as that you see on the TV. With zero personality and a mind no bigger than a shrivelled up pea, I wondered why I even bothered.
The bodyguards nearby meant there was no chance for me to lean over give him a gentle slap to wake him from his prehistoric thoughts and remind him of the Temple message of to “just be freaking nice. OK!!”
Here it is.
Tamzen Temple: Mr Abbott thanks for joining me today.
PM Tony Abbott: The pleasure is all mine Tamzen Temple. Been a big fan for a while now.
Tamzen Temple: Yes many have but onto what is really the topic of the moment.
PM Tony Abbott: Oh yes… Kim and Kanye.. I’m wondering what they’ll call their baby too. Easterly Windy West is a good one. I thought up a heap more if you want to hear them.
Tamzen Temple: No Mr Prime Minister. I’m talking about gay marriage. Marriage equality and why you won’t allow a vote?
PM Tony Abbott: I have stated my position and won’t discuss the whole voting gaysish thingy.
Tamzen Temple: Answer me this then Mr PM. Why are you against gay marriage?
PM Tony Abbott: It’s simple. I believe that marriage is between a man and a woman. It’s a union of two of the opposite sex and with the intention of procreating. Oh also God spoke to me and said that I shall go to hell if I allow gay marriage to be passed.
Tamzen Temple: God spoke to you?
PM Tony Abbott: Yes he often does. I suppose he sees an image of himself in me in that we both have this power to set what is right in the world. He relies on me to make sure that these queers do not unite in matrimony.
Tamzen Temple: What the F*&%. How can you speak like that about any human? They are not queers and to call them that is putting a label on them.
PM Tony Abbott: Well it is the majority that are actually thinking this way, my way. Most are just too afraid to come out and say it.
Tamzen Temple: I think you’re wrong there PM. Labels are dangerous and usually used by the ignorant and just as I may agree that you are a dinosaur in your thinking, does not mean I label you a freaking backward caveman.
PM Tony Abbott: I have spoken with the lord and other members of parliament and they all agree with me that they would rather keep their jobs than vote for these odd, same sex, in love people to be allowed the right to marry.
Tamzen Temple: But can’t you see how obvious it is. This is about love, not hate. It’s about two people who want to legally unite in marriage because of love. Same sex couples have to declare being a couple in the eyes of government. They have to declare being a defacto couple if claiming any government benefits and are seen as a couple when making claims yet you won’t allow marriage.
PM Tony Abbott: This is true however legally they should not be allowed to marry.
Tamzen Temple: But you will consider a vote if re-elected in 2017?
PM Tony Abbott: Absolutely not. That’s just me covering my ass for the next election. (Laughs at himself) Listen closely Tamzen Temple. To pass a law like this will cost thousands in paperwork. I am instead putting this money this term and the next, should I be re-elected, into medical research to further explore and hopefully find a cure for gayness. I am hoping with this funding that by the year 2020 that no man or women shall suffer gayness through programs we are putting into place as we speak.
Gays will have the option of hypnosis to cure their gayness, shock treatment, experimental injections and ongoing support groups. Boy on boy and girl on girl germs will be a thing of the past and we can all move forward in a new era of non gayness. I can wear my speedoes without fear of these gay creatures checking me out and yearning for a marriage that will never happen.
Tamzen Temple: You’re an idiot.
PM Tony Abbott: Amen.
Oh please I beg thee Temple Gods to forgive me for such name calling… It is not the Temple way but hey, you must not be the same God he’s chatting too……
I plea with thee to open the minds of those who are prehistoric in their thoughts allow a country to vote rather than one man to decide.
Do you believe in same sex marriage? Scroll, scroll down to let me know.
Peace and love from the Temple.
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Please note: The Temple is not a political site and their preference or opinion of the Prime Minister and or any political party is private. The matter at hand however was what prompted this post.