I Quit Facebook
I have a friend who hardly ever answers her phone….. If you text her you can bet it may be at least two days before she gets back to you, often longer.
I have other friends who forget to return a text or call back a missed call as they “don’t check their phones.” Yet, I know that’s a lie because I just saw them post something on Facebook via their phone…
My friend forgets where she puts her mobile phone and it’s not an excuse. She is focused on her life not her phone, not Facebook.
She would be an awesome criminal as no one could track her movements. there would be no news story that said “she announced that she was planning the attack/robbery/party on Facebook.”
Or if she went missing the detectives would be left scratching their heads as a common occurrence on the news: “She was last seen on High Street and posted a selfie earlier that day. Since then there has been no activity on her Facebook account which has left both family and friends concerned. ”
I’ve been envious of her ability to do this. I need to know where my phone is at all times. I need to check my Instagram for my blog. Ok that’s a lie. I don’t need to check it.. it’s a phone not a baby. I may need to post a pic once a day or week but there’s no need to check.
It’s the same as Facebook. I wake up, check Facebook, have a morning coffee, check Facebook, after lunch, check Facebook… I see a red notification on the Facebook app on my phone so I check Facebook. Even after turning off notifications for groups and pages and people, the little red notification catches my eye.
And it may be… “your page is performing well, or has had 10 views or add a new cover.. blah blah crap.”
Stop freaking informing me of irrelevant crap Mr Z. I swipe and inform ‘him’ to get fewer notifications like this yet they still haunt me. It’s a ploy to get me to check my FB and hold me there only to find ten minutes has passed and I’ve forgotten what I’m meant to be doing while ignoring whatever Micko has just asked me and explaining to Bronzy that it may be for work and be important.. (Which it never has been)
I access all my news via Facebook as I have subscribed to these types of posts but among these news posts I get gifs, inspiration from David Wolf through friends who like his stuff, (BTW he’s an anti vaxer and you hate anti vaxers), awesome motivational videos that halt me in actual achieving as I watch instead of doing, cute cat videos, kids giggling that make you feel all warm and fuzzy for the day, a craft or home hack that I will never use or a quirky video of a recipe with super catchy music..
I’m over the control the blue square with the white F has over me so last week I decided to quit. My stepson Jordan dropped in and told us he was thinking of quitting it too. He has over a thousand “friends” who want to know what he’s doing, where he is and try to lure him to catch up. I was rather proud of him taking this stance. He is at an impressionable age at 22 and the distraction of Facebook is something I never had back then.
I started thinking about it more and more after he left and felt hits of adrenaline at the prospect of removing this from my life. I had to take into consideration my blog page on Facebook where I share content… Do I delete this, my Tamzen Temple FB page??? I manage pages for Micko the spunky Temple Guru and his band SKOL so I need a personal page to do that.
I have my business Before Breakfast… Do I delete this as well?
Before I even start considering this I have to consider the groups I’m in …. totalling 53… WTF.. how did I end up in 53 groups? I don’t think in real life I have ever been in any group and now I’m in groups for blogging, sales, marketing, freelance, beauty and a bunch of others and I have no idea how this happened. I long turned off notifications for most of these groups but would drop by on occasion to many of them but not 53 of them for the love of God!
Two of these groups I started myself so I had to jump in and ask others to take over as admins so they wouldn’t be deleted. There were the comments… “we’ll miss you” from those who never participated in any conversations, to “I could never quit Facebook… I love it too much.”
And I tried to think what I loved about Facebook… and came up with nothing.
Sure it put me back in touch with school friends of the past. I’ve made some amazing connections through some of the groups but I find that for me Facebook has bought about a form of depression that I want to avoid.
From my timeline where I see FB friends posting “There will be karma to those who wrong me, you know who you are.” Ummmmmm how will they know unless they are friends of yours on Facebook or you are hoping someone will tell them your feelings toward them?
OR “So over it all..” to others commenting…”I hope everything is ok” to them posting back..”I’ll dm you with details.” So I”m left wondering about the drama and if they’re ok and why you would vent publically telling the public that it is private..
I’d like to think I behave the same in real life as I do on Facebook, only I deal with real life in real life and don’t deal with problems with others through Facebook. It’s a method I learned years ago and I call it communicating direct, face to face. You may have heard of this and it involves an actual conversation either with the person in person or via mobile or landline…….
Honesty, integrity as that’s what the Temple is all about. We’re trying to bring back manners, decency and most of all common sense and I’ve veered off course to try and globalise this through social media and got myself all bound up by anxiety and disappointment by the actions or inactions of others on Facebook or in life.
I’ve got to admit this whole quitting has been prompted also by a series of unfortunate events since the start of the year. I’ve had constant ridiculous health issues that are nothing major but feels like I’m continually sick or limping, car trouble, work issues, family stuff and more.
I’ve been overwhelmed and wanted to start simplifying my life and thought all this angst and crap is a freaking sign. And it’s been amazing already. Since I made the decision to quit I’ve had four things in one day turn for the best. I’m a believer of sending out the positive and my brain has been so jammed packed of late there was no room for change.
Since releasing myself from some commitments and making room in my head, the thoughts of what I am really aiming for in life, have surfaced again.
Facebook for me was too much white noise that made me stress about the welfare of others that I barely knew, about inappropriate behavior and language and sadness of those who continually want to share and be heard when they don’t listen, post or comment to those who have shown them support, not even a like…..
It saddened me that some drunk would post a pic of them on their fiftieth beer and received 100 likes and a mum who was struggling by sharing and reaching out for help would get none. I couldn’t go on being the official liker of all things unliked as it was actually starting to really affect me. I have to move on as Facebook behavior is in a league I can’t conform to. I hated seeing friends post racist comments when I never knew that they felt this way in real life and now I feel awkward knowing them. I felt heartbreak for others who tell me about those they assume to be close to them commenting generic words on their timelines to maintain a relationship for the Facebook world to see but don’t include in their real life in fact are ignored or segregated.
And when I realised that if I’m getting sad through something so minor as people not giving a great post a thumbs up, I knew it was time for a change as Facebook currency of likes, smiles, shock etc are a half second pre prepared reaction that holds no creed.
So I backed up my stuff and deactivated my account and wrote this.. without distraction.
What do you love or dislike about Facebook??
I’d love to know… scroll scroll down to tell
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