List of Cats

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List of Cats

Meow: Cats freak me out a little.  There I said it out loud for everyone to hear and all the world to judge me..

I love animals but cats are a bit too smart for me and they know I am not a cuddly type person and they try to change me.  If I ever venture into the home of a cat owner, their cat/s take it on themselves to jump on my lap and make themselves comfy. It freaks me out to have a warm creature on my lap.

“They like you” The ‘owners’ say.

Well the Guru likes you but you don’t see him jumping on your lap. We’ve only just met for God’s sake and all that slinky fur, meowing, witch connotation, Grumpy/Fat/Felix the cat and the claws that once scratched me as a child have turned me into a cat avoider.

“Please remove this warm patch off my lap.”  I try to enter their heads with telekinesis but they don’t hear.  “I told Bronzy not to stand on your couch.  Let’s swap. I’ll hold my child and the cat can jump on the couch. Fair?”

I’m also a bit of a germaphobe so I don’t want a smooch with any animal that carry dead birds or mice.

Pleeeeasssee note. I like cats I think they are cute and kittens absolutely adorable but I’m more of a dog or plant person, not a patter or a holder.

Cats are too delicate for this clumsy Temple Queen and there’s only one queen in my temple and that’s me. A cat would surely take the title if I allowed one in the home.

Spiders and cats both intimidate me because they have such confidence, such style and you never know what they’ll do next.  I have catnaphobia….

So here’s a list of cats that may enter the Temple

Cat Stevens:  Oh Yusuf Cat… you really do have all the right words to my heart or at least do when I’m drunk or high. I feel those words man and you really do understand my pain, my emotion and show the story, not just tell it.  Peace brother and moonshadow the cat in the cradle away. xoxo

Kit Kat: Chocolate, wafer…. and although spelt with a K, I forgive you and love you all the same because I can eat you….

Meercats: You guy and girls are not mere at all. You’re the most and are so funny to watch and that ‘compare the market/meerkat’ is adorable…

Catapillar: Metamorphis is my most favorite word and how cool is it that you are willing to change.  You’re awesome and they even named a earthmoving truck thingy company after you.

Cat in the Hat: Coolest dude. Why wasn’t I given you as a child? I was robbed and love all the ridiculous things about you. You should come to Australia and run for PM.  Your chances are good.

Cat Deely:  You can come visit but I’ll make sure Micko is out of the house as you’re too pretty and tall and blonde. Not that I’m at all threatened.. I mean we’re so different. I’m short,  brunette colored red bumpy hipped chick who likes Kit Kats.  And also an alert.. The Guru loves to dance and would bombard you with his dance moves to try and move up the ladder in the competition.

The Cat Empire: I would so like to see you live.  How do you all fit in a car?  Where did you come up with that name. Who cares you guys are the bomb. The music, the sounds, the coolness.

Cat Mario Game: I have no idea what this is.. I hate gaming so you can only come for a short stay as I’m half Italian and you are half Mario.

Cat on a Hot Tin Roof: This is that strange movie with lots of yelling and Paul Newman, Elizabeth Taylor getting lucky at the end in hope to score a baby in her belly.  The whole Big Daddy thing also freaks me as any cat would but Paul Newman was hot before the whole mayonnaise thing.. Now even hotter with all that charity money he gives. Bless his heart.

Cat Woman: Black latex and purring.  You wicked woman.

Cat Zingano: How could I refuse you. You are freaking tuff and scary.  Come over anytime you power woman. U Freaking Champion……

Cat Ballou:  Oh go check out Jane Fonda at her absolute best and most beautiful.  A classic movie.

Anywho.  One of the problems with cats is that they are taking over the internet, TV and they are outshining me.  All the hard work of creating gets overshadowed by cats…

Ohhh I’m not jealous or bitter but how many more cat gifs and vids can we see before they truly take over the world.

Micko is a frustrated, I mean he’s an out of work actor.. Now if he was a cat he would be on screen constantly but no!! The time he spent studying acting in Hollywood and OZ means nothing.. The cats get first click and well.. he’s kinda lost the plot with it all.

So we made this cat video.  “What this cat does next” Is his way of admitting defeat.  May the cats rule the world.

Peace and OMG enough of the cats already.

xoxo Tamzen Temple

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10 Comments
  • Ronnie Peace
    September 24, 2015

    Amen.
    A wise man once said of the feline species “the only good cat is a dead cat”. No sooner had this been spoken that a cat appeared from nowhere and sat upon his lap.
    That the cat then elegantly held its left leg up in the air elegantly, like a ballerina, before commencing to lick itself has not been confirmed.

    • Tamzen Temple
      September 25, 2015

      No harm should come to those cats or any animal. I actually think those cats are aliens and want to stay on their good side and really do want one, one day when I get a farm and they can roam free and catch rodents for me.

  • Pinky Poinker
    October 2, 2015

    Like you, I’m a dog person. Cats give me itchy eyes and I worry about their intentions. They seem to have an alien quality which makes me nervous to go to sleep around them. Did you know the only animal commissioned to orbit the Earth that they haven’t been able to send into space is a cat because it ESCAPED from the space station! How can you escape from a fudging space station?

  • Cecelia Tencza
    October 13, 2015

    Fear not the cat! I am an unholy hybrid of both cat and dog lover. I see greatness and evil in both. But, to each their own!
    I must say the Cat on a Hot Tin Roof was awesome. A moody Paul Newman is always appreciated. The Big Daddy thing is exclusive to the Deep South in the US and isn’t meant to be understood by outsiders.

    • Tamzen Temple
      October 13, 2015

      I want to read that cat post you had in mind now… Paul Newman was damn hot in that hey. And now it all makes sense that Big Daddy isn’t meant to make sense. xx

  • Karyn Jane
    October 15, 2015

    Nope! I’m a full on cat person. They are our furry overlords and shall be obeyed.

    I do agree with you on the Cat Empire though, they are groovy as hell.

    • Tamzen Temple
      October 18, 2015

      I think that’s the main key for me. The saying (something like this) you can own a dog but you will be a cat’s slave. They really are very regal…. and intimidating…. I think it takes a confident person to own a cat.

  • Ashleigh
    January 7, 2016

    Totally cat crazy. How did I miss this post? My cat is very smart, and as The Oatmeal says, ‘a furry missile of love and hatred’. If she was any bigger, we would be buried. They are taking over the internet, there are Instagram cats with over 3 million followers!

    • Tamzen Temple
      January 7, 2016

      I should have had My Meow/ Sashi Cat in there as a favourite…. Are we still besties despite my fear of felines???

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