My Best Fake Memory

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I love a best fake memory….

Life is made up of memories…

Nothing else.

Relationships are formed through the creation of memories and then we reminisce with one another when together.  You meet someone you vaguely remember and possibly never met but say something like…”Your mum and my dad used to work together when we were five and we caught the same school bus…

Now with this Facebooky thing and Twitter and Instagram and blogs… we form all sorts of communities and within these friendships with people we will never meet.

There’s always an awkwardness when meeting anyone new… with friends the conversations flows through common interests and silences are ok when you’re secure with one another….

But.. most friendships will always be based on memories.. Remember when we, I, you or they did this.. bought that…. saw them… felt this…… fell down the stairs drunk… showed your boobs accidently….. ate a fly…..gave birth…..kissed a really creepy man with no teeth….ate a snake…..met George Clooney…

george edited.
You know.. the usual stuff memories are made of.  That first meeting though can be tense or easy as pie with a stranger.

You’ll be at a party and left in a room alone with someone new…”So you live nearby?  Where do you work….?  How do you know Bill and Judy? ” Generic chit chat….

Until you meet again the next time… and you reminisce… “So how is work at the sheep station?”  Because you remember this from the one previous conversation.

Or “How yummy were the tacos at Bill and Judy’s that night?”


best fake memory

Back to my new online friends… I’m starting a revolution…. of memories..

So for example I had a friend on Facebook that I never met… just communicated with via feeds….

Occasionally on Facebook feeds you will see someone ask… “What is your favorite memory of us?”

So I have lots of friends I have never met on Facebook and through blogging communities and hate feeling left out so I make stuff up about them….

I’ll start with Ronnie… Oh he is hilarious. My best fake memory of when we first met is when we were both at an awards ceremony for funny blogs (I won)

I knew that I was funnier and he was really angry because of this so when I got up to receive the award he put a whoopee cushion on my chair so when I got back I let one rip and everyone laughed at me and patted him on the back and said..”You really are funny Ronnie..”

And I’m like screaming “No he’s not!! I got the award. He’s freaking not as funny as me..” then everyone laughed at me so threw a creme pie in his face and everyone took back what they said and confirmed.. “Yes Tamzen are the funniest.”


Not a picture of Ronnie but I think he may look like this..

Afterward Ronnie and me shook hands and he had one of those buzz handshake things which was a bit funny but I had a flower water pistol in my jacket and got him back straight away.. I won… We still talk about that night when his wife and cute daughter come to visit every Sunday for lunch. We cook asparagus and roast snake, their favorite.  Great times…

Or Pinky Poinker.. This is one of my most favorite, best fake memories… We were both looking at this old house to buy on Mount Tamborine and were wearing the same kaftans. Hilarious really. “Is yours a Camille?” I asked. And she’s like “Yes, for sure… is there any other?”  We went to a bar and ordered lemonade and talked all afternoon about floral prints and chihuahuas..

best fake memory

Or my friend Sarah... We didn’t really meet one day on the train except in my best fake memory where on the train we missed our stop because we both were so engrossed in our IPads watching an episode of Vikings.. Anywho.. we finally got off and there was a circus not far from the station. We were the last ones off the train so we dedided to hang out and went to the circus where the ringleader was crying because the clowns had left. We volunteered and did the job for the night only to find out we loved being clowns..

We decided to stay and ran away with them and only returned when we saw a Crime Stopper report on our disappearance.. The Temple Guru was crying on the TV begging for my return as I had been missing for two years and so I thought I had better go back to my old life… Sarah stayed with the circus and I still meet up every other week to clown around..

Do you have a best fake memory? Make one up for a Facebook friend you’ve never met and head to my Facebook post of this and use the hashtag #mybestfakememory to share yours or scroll scroll below.

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George Clooney picture


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