Bogus Blogger Exposed
OK here it is. I’m going to give the expose hey straight up. I was recently asked to give an interview with Clarke Lane about my amazing blog, the even more amazing me and the awesome advice I give… or don’t give…
Anywho I obviously thought it was to be featured in the Who Weekly’s Most Intriguing People but instead it was merely a ploy to tarnish my already tarnished yet highly polished, glossy name.
Here is the interview from the Daily Sun.
Pancakes Can Cure
Says the Fake Queen!!
Temple Queen or biggest scammer in history? Tamzen Temple arrived at the small inner-city cafe wearing her casual black clothes straight from the hills hoist minus her tiara. Looking relaxed yet extraordinarily attractive she sat and asked straight up for the menu.
“I’m always hungry and like to order within five minutes of sitting down.” Ms Temple explained. “You don’t want to wait for food any longer than necessary.”
After months of scouring through various birth records on royal bloodlines across several countries I asked Ms Temple about how she felt about being exposed as a fraud. Many documents were examined over a two year period and The Daily Sun is the first to uncover the truth. Tamzen Temple is not a Temple Queen and not living in a Temple at all. Her response to my allegations was far from appealing.
“Of course I’m not a royal Temple Queen you freaking moron. If you took even two seconds to look on my site you would know this. I am the Queen of my Temple. Now a Temple is otherwise known as a home. So every woman in their home should be known as a Temple Queen. They are the glue of the monarchy.. Just look at the actual Queen… you don’t think the old Duke of Edinburgh is the Araldite, or Superglue of the palace? He doesn’t even compare to Clag and couldn’t keep his mind together let alone a broken tiara.”
With a compulsion to talk faster than the speed of light, it was difficult to make sense of the redheaded beauty that dazzled me with her witty charm. She made absolutely no sense with the babble that came out of her mouth as I quizzed her further about her dark past and of her non-royal bloodline.
It was uncovered that the mother was a groupie before turning into a street walker and then a high class hooker. Her father unknown due to the wild ways and inability of her mother to put the dates together with band tours.
“Well she, my mum Vera, is possibly the one who has the most direct links to royalty. I mean she was very discreet and all but….I suppose that tattoo of the British flag with a little crown on top makes sense now… She liked to get a tatt for each of her greatest conquests or should I say clients. I’m yet to decipher them all. She has a tattoo of a SULTANaaah… OMG I just worked that one out…”
But what about all her followers who hung on her every word, each piece of advice she gave believing that she offered them a world of peace and wisdom through her Temple Teachings? With over five million followers in Australia alone there has been concern that the Temple Tribe of this incisive yet bizarre blogger may have been mislead on a number of occasions.
“Ummm look to be honest, I offer nothing. I’m not a mummy blogger who gives great parenting advice.. actually can you remember if I had my little man Bronzy with me when I entered..? Or did he stay home with the Guru..? Hmmmm.
Anywho.. I’m not crafty nor do I travel a lot. Except to see the celebs and stars of course but all the details are taken care for me by my PA Kim Groman. I actually have no idea how to even buy an air ticket… so no advice given there.
As you can see my pants are on inside out, a common mistake I often make and the tag to my shirt is visible so it definitely shows you I am not a fashion blogger offering styling advice.
I do though occasionally share my epic food fails so I suppose I do give advice on what not to do in the kitchen and well…… My tagline for my blog actually is that I provide people with ‘a mass of useless information you may never need with the occasional insight to brilliance.”
She sat vacant, unresponsive yet with an alluring exotic look in her eye as I hit her with the question on everyone’s lips. What about the false claims she makes in curing sadness with pancakes. Whilst many have agreed with her, advice in this area it is yet to be medically proven.
“Pancakes cured me from my sadness and I stand by that statement. Although I am not often sad probably because I eat them also as a preventative measure. They will make anyone happy. But they should include a warning which I don’t believe it is up to me to give but if I did it would be “excessive consumption of pancakes especially with unscrupulous amounts of butter and maple syrup will make you fat. As I have said on a number of occasions, (pointing to her robust butt, stomach, thighs and hips) this is not baby fat… everyone blames the baby.. It’s pancake fat….”
There it is out in the open. It was actually always out. I never kept anything hidden I in fact believe that anyone who is a journalist interviewing someone should do their homework more than checking a blog post or Instagram account.
It was later revealed that I have Ficticious Disorder not to be confused with Facticious Disorder that a recent health blogger fraud claims to have. On a serious note, if you do have any problems and need to talk to someone call LIFELINE.
I believe that there should be more honest people in the world like myself and my great friend I have never met but believe is unfairly ignored like myself Ronnie Peace. He too lives an honest and true life making no secret of his faults and understandably self admiration.
Do you love pancakes?? I’d love to know your take. Scroll scroll down to let me know and don’t forget to join the Temple Tribe. My five millionth follower gets to spend the day with me. Just leave your email in the ‘you’re adorable’ section and you become even more adorable. xx
This is a Minterview