Tamzen Temple Dead but not yet Buried.
Thank you for visiting and your condolences….. and being here at the Temple at this sad time.
Obituary of a Temple Queen.
Tamzen Temple passed away at some point last week months after she quit Facebook. It has been confirmed that it wasn’t the lack of social media brain numbness that caused her death but old age. She was in fact 60 years old but looked only in her late 30’s because her ridiculous approach to life bought her near eternal youth.
She leaves behind Micko the handsome exceptionally lovely Temple Guru who is devastated, shattered, utterly heartbroken and will be forever in mourning, who is seeking counselling not only for her passing but the fact he discovered he was sleeping with a woman that was 20 years older than him.
He has vowed to become a monk despite his appreciation for beautiful women, knowing Tamzen was so angelic that no other woman will ever compare even Miranda Kerr who looks like a tramp compared to Ms Temple.
Ms Temple the famous blogger known for the hashtag tattoo she sported on her right hand, was talented and her wit beyond the understanding of many.
“I never knew what the f&$% she ever was talking about, but I still found her one of the most intriguing people alive and I’m honoured to have her ashes scattered here on my island.”
Said Richard Branson when hearing her passing.
Ms Temple was switched at birth and went on to become an exceptional makeruppera and minterviewer. He mother Marlene was a high class hooker and crowned with the title ‘most unprotected clients of the year’ in the year Ms Temple was born and it was because of this Ms Temple didn’t know the identity of her father. Rumors that it could have been Elvis or Mick Jagger have never been confirmed or denied.
Her most memorable minterview with Mark Zuckerberg went viral and he has donated a zillion dollars to the Temple foundation for Ms Temple’s Nice Project.
The tweets were never-ending with this from Elle the Body Macpherson.
And this comment from her former lover George Clooney.
“No words can describe the emptiness I feel. I can only go on with Amal as a substitute but at least now that Tamzy my one true love is dead, I can try to move on. Bless you my Temple Queen.”
But no one will miss her more than her BFF from across the seas. Ellen declined to comment reportedly said to say this from an insider who was standing outside the Warner Bros studio.
“She was about to inform Tamzen Temple that she had caved and would make her the Ellen’s show official Australian Correspondent. Ellen feels terrible that she took so long make the decision but ANYWAY…….”
Ms Temple will be cremated on Tuesday in a state ceremony and the Prime Minister has declared this day a public holiday and it will be voted on in Parliament next month if each year her death anniversary should be a continual public holiday.
She may return in the future, actually it is highly likely this is a fake death but you should leave your condolences below just in case. Scroll scroll down to do so.