Tamzen Temple Obituary

Tamzen Temple Dead but not yet Buried.

Thank you for visiting and your condolences…..  and being here at the Temple at this sad time.

Obituary of a Temple Queen.

Tamzen Temple passed away at some point last week months after she quit Facebook. It has been confirmed that it wasn’t the lack of social media brain numbness that caused her death but old age.  She was in fact 60 years old but looked only in her late 30’s because her ridiculous approach to life bought her near eternal youth.

She leaves behind Micko the handsome exceptionally lovely Temple Guru who is devastated, shattered, utterly heartbroken and will be forever in mourning, who is seeking counselling not only for her passing but the fact he discovered he was sleeping with a woman that was 20 years older than him.

He has vowed to become a monk despite his appreciation for beautiful women, knowing Tamzen was so angelic that no other woman will ever compare even Miranda Kerr who looks like a tramp compared to Ms Temple.

Ms Temple the famous blogger known for the hashtag tattoo she sported on her right hand, was talented and her wit beyond the understanding of many.

“I never knew what the f&$% she ever was talking about, but I still found her one of the most intriguing people alive and I’m honoured to have her ashes scattered here on my island.”

Said Richard Branson when hearing her passing.

by Tamzen Temple (1)

Temple History

Ms Temple was switched at birth and went on to become an exceptional makeruppera and minterviewer.   He mother Marlene was a high class hooker and crowned with the title ‘most unprotected clients of the year’ in the year Ms Temple was born  and it was because of this Ms Temple didn’t know the identity of her father.   Rumors that it could have been Elvis or Mick Jagger have never been confirmed or denied.

Her most memorable minterview with Mark Zuckerberg went viral and he has donated a zillion dollars to the Temple foundation for Ms Temple’s  Nice Project.Obituary

 

The tweets were never-ending with this from Elle the Body Macpherson.

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And this comment from her former lover George Clooney.

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“No words can describe the emptiness I feel.  I can only go on with Amal as a substitute but at least now that Tamzy my one true love is dead, I can try to move on. Bless you my Temple Queen.”

But no one will miss her more than her BFF from across the seas.  Ellen declined to comment reportedly said to say this from an insider who was standing outside the Warner Bros studio.

“She was about to inform Tamzen Temple that she had caved and would make her the Ellen’s show official Australian Correspondent.  Ellen feels terrible that she took so long make the decision but ANYWAY…….”

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Ms Temple will be cremated on Tuesday in a state ceremony and the Prime Minister has declared this day a public holiday and it will be voted on in Parliament next month if each year her death anniversary should be a continual public holiday.

She may return in the future, actually it is highly likely this is a fake death but you should leave your condolences below just in case. Scroll scroll down to do so.

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11 Comments
  • Fluffy
    August 31, 2016

    Noooooooooooooooooo Tamzen Temple is one of my few sources of sanity in an insane world… I know CPR, it’s not too late…

    • Tamzen Temple
      September 3, 2016

      Oh you would love it here Fluffy. There is an endless supply of champagne and blog posts from you and I can clone myself. Never been happier. xoxoxox

  • Natalie @ Our ParallelConnection
    August 31, 2016

    Are you seriously quitting??? noooo

    • Tamzen Temple
      September 3, 2016

      I may rise after 5 days or a year or tomorrow. There’s a meeting next week with the big G to see if the general public could handle an comeback from Mwah or a takeover up here. There’s debate about a new leader, an overthrow but I told G he’s got a few years left in him. Until then I shall watch over you and your awesome work. Achoo.. I mean bless you Natalie.

  • Petunia Neptunia
    September 1, 2016

    Oh no. Will be sorely missed.

    But, life goes on (for the rest of us, anyway). Which begs the comment: totes cool hashtag necklace. Truly.

    Was there a will? If so, did the receiver really want it? If not, I’ll take it off their hands (neck?) if no ones fazed.

    As for the household wares attire, are they being sold off or being displayed at a museum in Melbourne anytime soon? I imagine if anything, a tour of the original versions of the wardrobe collection would start in Paris or somewhere more ‘worthy’ of promoting such authentic designs first? Hope the collections ends up in Melbourne. What is the brand of the aluminum foil used, does anyone know? I shop at Aldi normally but can make a special trip to Coles or even Costco to buy in bulk if anyone wants me to make some Tamzen replicas.

    My condolences to the Guru, Mr Clooney, Mr Branson and The Body MacPherson in this difficult time. Ellen, you missed out on working with Ausyralias most respected and hilarious blogger. She will be sorely missed.

    Can someone please get back to me re: the hashtag necklace and household attire collection? Cheers xo

    • Tamzen Temple
      September 3, 2016

      Yes the hashtag necklace was made especially for me by Quinn off Bold and the Beautiful. Micko cannot part with my things just yet despite the public demands for a piece of me. BTW your name sounds like a flower fish. xo

  • Fran
    September 2, 2016

    What can I say. Nothing. Lost for words. Sending emoji 💐💐💐

    Waiting for rebirth? Resurrection?. Posts form the grave? Or at least a continuing Instagram feed. Or reports on being seen with Elvis at the burger bar. There is always hope for a Tazmen fan.

    • Tamzen Temple
      September 3, 2016

      Yes I have caught up with Elvis to discuss him possibly being my dad which was creepy because I thought he was hot…. anywho it turns out he’s not my dad (could have been the drummer) and we are taking things slowly and started going out to the cloud nine burger bar and having lots of fun eating lots of burgers and beer and in heaven he is the young Elvis not the big fat sweaty Elvis so burgers are fine. I’m ten kilos lighter too so I look like the 30 year old me so heaven is seriously great for your self esteem. xoxo

  • Pinky Poinker
    September 4, 2016

    Oh Tamzey. Just have a break for a while like I did. You’ll start to miss it after a while. It becomes like a friend (a demanding friend) that you can tell all your rubbish to. I bet you miss it and come back 🙂

    • Tamzen Temple
      September 19, 2016

      True true. I will however now have time to finish reading your book. Looking forward to that most. xx

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