Vaccinating Parents Against Stupidity

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Vaccinating Dogs and the Uneducated.

Years ago I was asked to host a talk show. It was to be a pilot on parenting and was doomed to fail. (Mainly because 1. I had no knowledge at the time of parenting. 2. The parents that participated sought legal action for the show not to go to air knowing it proved they were not fit to be parents)

The network set me up I’m sure by giving me four parents to question about four common frustrating parental issues. It almost turned a little Jerry Springerish with me jumping around in frustration with these moronic parents who really need to be locked up and retrained… or trained to be exact.

Now I’m not one to judge as we are all merely surviving in life but when it comes to kids, babies the absolute treasures of the world that we are blessed to be in the presence of let alone responsible for, I must admit I can become a little psycho on the matter…..

The pilot took place on a small stage. They, the parents,  sat in front of me as I paced with a microphone around them….

Thanks for being here today parents. I’ll get straight into it and start with you Responsible But Incredibly Selfish Dog Owner (RBISDO) Can you explain to me why do you tie your dog up at the bottom of the slide at the local playground?

RBISDO: Oh well he just loves kids, he is my other child and where else would I tie him…?

Tamzen Temple: Maybe away from the play area would be an idea.

RBISDO: Yes but as I said he just loves watching the kids come down the slide and by having him and my son within the same area stops me from worrying.

Tamzen Temple: But he jumped up on one of the kids and scaring the bejebees out of them and snapped at another one.

RBISDO: Oh he would never hurt one he just likes jumping and licking kids, he’s just a puppy really.

Tamzen Temple: Yeah well , he’s not a puppy he’s a huge dog and I’m telling you now that I don’t want your dog on the playground turf. It’s great you’ve tied him up while your son plays but… tie him up on the bike rack nearby or under a tree. Not where kids are playing… I don’t care if it’s the cutest most harmless dog in the world.  You have three football ovals around us to take him for a run yet you take him to the park.

RBISDO: But..

Tamzen Temple: No butts!!! I love animals but I love the thought of my child, if I had one,  playing without having to think of a strange dog at the bottom of the slide or near a swing like a moving target..

Now…let’s move on.  This is a touchy one and one that will be debated forever….. Anti – Vaccinator I want you to listen.. I’d actually prefer you and your child stay away from mine.. Or I could adopt her and get her the jabs she needs?

Anti-Vaccinator: That’s the problem Tamzen Temple. You and many like you are simply uneducated about the subject. I read a report from a top doctor in the US…

Tamzen Temple: Stop… these reports are always from ‘top doctors’… can you tell me what the bottom doctors are doing?

Anti-Vaccinator: No you listen.. these top doctors tell how it’s all about the pharmaceutical companies making money.. Immunisations are unnecessary. Also I had a friend who had a cousin who although she wasn’t close to; she heard about through the neighbor that her daughter had a severe reaction to a vaccine…

Tamzen Temple: Right. Understandably that would be upsetting…. but I once had a client who has a limp from polio and another one who lost two brothers back in the day from whooping cough. This was prior to vaccines being available.

Anti-Vaccinator: Yes but if they ate lots of vegetables they would have been fine. They are old diseases and don’t exist now anyway.

Tamzen Temple: That is because we almost wiped them out with vaccines.

Anti-Vaccinator: Look I don’t get why all those who get vaccinated care anyway. I mean if their kids are vaccinated they shouldn’t have to worry if mine isn’t and gets one of these diseases as they are ‘protected’.

Tamzen Temple: But what about the poor little bubs that are too young to be vaccinated, that don’t stand a chance because people like you are too selfish to think of the big picture that it’s not just about you but the many who may be vulnerable to these preventable diseases.

Anti-Vaccinator: Oh Tamzen Temple… You’re like all the rest of those idiots. Secret documents were uncovered to show absolute proof that vaccines can cause autism.

Tamzen Temple: Yes, top doctors, secret reports.. Oh and I’ve heard the latest one that you’re trying to spread. The one where you get your doctor to sign this form to state that the vaccine doesn’t have any monkey or dog kidneys contained.. Wadda!! What doctor would put his or her name to any ridiculous form like that presented by a parent caught up in a small sector of alternate freaks?

Have you noticed uneducated Anti-Vaccinator that most of these sites have dodgy ads on them, usually to lure the brainless twits further into the spectrum of conspiracy theories and products that are herbal remedies?… queue sales pitch to the ignorant but easily lead….. Also they use the word physician, not doctor as we call them here in OZ, so you as an Aussie place greater faith in the American based physicians of the Google Gods than actual facts then share this fictional knowledge with others on Facebook….

Show me the Australian research with real doctors not info from random sites that come from some person probably paid five dollars to create a page to get you guys there, that are actually just pages created purely to sell to you.

Anti-Vaccinator: You missed the point though that not one physician would sign that release form.

Tamzen Temple: No I didn’t miss it, I just know they are actually in the backroom rolling around in laughter and then tears at the absolute ridiculous situation of them attending uni for eight or more years for a person off the street caught up in a hype that will be the first to flip once their child has to suffer with one of these old diseases. Oh and this ridicolous assumption that a government conspiracy to make money off the pharmaceutical companies, ummm vaccines are free so I just don’t get how you come to that conclusion.

Anti-Vaccinator: You’ll never understand TT. You like the whole of society have conformed too easily.

Tamen Temple: Now I must ask you this though.. You have a cat don’t you?

Anti-Vaccinator: Yes I do.. and a dog.

Tamzen Temple: Do you vaccinate your pets?

Anti-Vaccinator: Of course I do. There’s a lot out there they can catch from Parvovirus, Distemper.

Tamzen Temple: Can you hear yourself talk?? You won’t vaccinate your children but do so your pets?

Anti-Vaccinator: Yes but , well they are defenseless in protecting themselves.

Tamzen Temple: So are babies.

Anti-Vaccinator: No further comment.

Tamzen Temple: Now….What insane parent is next.. ah Free Range Mum. So you let your kids out of the house without any knowledge of where they are?

Free Ranger: Yes and it is giving them the opportunity to explore their true personalities. It also gives them a chance to learn basic survival skills and the all important navigation skills when they find their way home.

Tamzen Temple: And if they don’t find their way home?

Free Ranger: Well, it’s an opportunity for me to go for a walk and find them. It encourages exercise all round. Aren’t we trying to do the same with chickens?  I just want the same for my kids, not to be enclosed in a yard but instead given the endless roads and fields of the world.

Tamzen Temple: Why not just go together. Enjoy a day at a park or shops or anywhere… together?

Free Ranger: I need my me time, they need their independence and there has been no serious crime in the area for over a year except that maniac that stabbed a woman in the main street. But you can’t let the maniacs win, you have give your kids wings to fly, trust to soar and freedom to grow.

Tamzen Temple: Fruitcake….. Your children are nine and four. Don’t you worry?

Free Ranger: There’s no point in worrying about what destiny holds. I tell the older one to keep a close eye on his sister, not to let her out of site. I know that later in life they will be absolutely fearless.

Tamzen Temple: If they aren’t hit by a car or abducted or lost in bush-land. Isn’t it your job to keep a close eye on your children?  You shouldn’t put that in the hands of your older child and I’m not saying keep them locked in the backyard, I’m saying know where they are and have some limits.

Free Ranger: Seriously Tamzen Temple, you don’t even have a child so how can you sit here and judge any of us?

Tamzen Temple: I’m still working out which of you is the worst. It could possibly be you Verbal and Physical Abuser. (V&PA)

V&PA: I have found that a little hit or firm slap across the bottom or hand is effective and I can call my children whatever I want.. Sometimes she is a little b&^% so I’m just stating the obvious to her.

Tamzen Temple: But how can you look at that little face and call her that?

V&PA: Quiet easily. Look my parents used to hit me and call me all sorts of names and what I learned from that was respect. I turned out just fine.

Tamzen Temple: No what you got from that is a memory that your parents used to hit you and verbally abuse you.

V&PA: Yes I may have issues from that and be estranged from my own parents. That aside if my kids are naughty they will be hit. It works because they are very rarely naughty.. they just sit in the corner head down and hardly ever speak.

Tamzen Temple: That’s called fear and humiliation.

V&PA: They are my kids, I will hit them if I want to, if it is required.

Tamzen Temple: So can I slap you now for being an abuser.

V&PA: Try it, I will have assault charges on you in a second.

It was at this point I had to be pulled off this woman as she mutually agreed to let the grip she had on my hair lose.
No charges were laid and the network tore up the contract and shelved the project. Society wasn’t ready to state the obvious just yet. It would be too much paperwork to lay out some simple guidelines for parents like this.

Did I over react?… Am I wrong?

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Are children worth it? Scroll scroll down to share your thoughts….

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14 Comments
  • Sam
    April 24, 2015

    I totally agree with you in all those situations, I don’t have any children of my own though I have 3 Nieces and 6 Nephews. I don’t understand how people think why would you not want to protect your child from diseases if you can!

    • Tamzen Temple
      April 24, 2015

      Thanks Sam. I totally understand the concern that a minute percentage may have a reaction (not the hyped ones the anti vaccinators go on about) but it’s the larger numbers and results that speak louder. I am no expert in parenting but think each of these situations are obvious in protecting all children.

  • Pinky Poinker
    April 24, 2015

    I’ve seen some really ludicrous things on FB from the anti-vaccers. They only get shared because they’re funny in a tragic way. At least the government has done something about it. What sort of stupid person would tie their dog to the bottom of a slippery slide? Honestly. I think brains are shrivelling. And yes… it’s illegal to hit any adult. It’s assault, and that’s what it is when you hit a child.

    • Tamzen Temple
      April 24, 2015

      Pretty much all I’ve seen that is posted from the anti-vaccers are cheap looking sites, often poorly written with a stock image of a ‘medical professional’ obviously a model of an older, wise, grey haired doctor looking dude, that I’m sure I’ve seen also in a retirement advertisement. Oh and the dog.. true story.. I mean they have all the space to run around but choose the play area. Some I have witnessed don’t even have children or choose not to tie their dog up.. (please note I love dogs and would gladly take any for a walk but just stay off the play area pleeeaasseee) And yes… assault is assault whether it be adult or child.

  • Natalie @ our parallel connection
    April 24, 2015

    what a great, funny and enlightening way to present this argument … I understand people want to protect their children but get the right facts first … Great post

    • Tamzen Temple
      May 8, 2015

      Thanks you awesome mother Natalie whose opinion is of great value because you are awesome in all ways .

  • Hayley @ House of many Minions
    April 25, 2015

    If only there was a vaccination for stupid parents! Just need to get the anti vaxxers on board with it lol!
    Thanks for joining in at #TIK

    • Tamzen Temple
      April 25, 2015

      Oh yes.. there is an issue there…. one they won’t want to admit they are stupid and two the whole anti vaccine thing… Oh well..

  • Ren
    April 25, 2015

    I read once – and it’s a very apt saying – your right to throw a punch ends when you hit my nose. Similarly, your presumed right to not vaccinate your child ends when my own health is compromised. Yes, I have had all my jabs plus some. People like me are protected not only by vaccines but by herd immunity. I actually understand how that works and all these anti-vaxers don’t. It is sheer lunacy not to vaccinate children against diseases which can leave them dead, dumb, blind or dead.

    Unfortunately we have the luxury of living in a world where these diseases are no longer something to be feared. Well… until now. I’m tired of seeing reports of babies dying from whooping cough or children ending up mentally disabled because of measles.

    As for the other stuff… well I copped a whack or ten for being a smartarse and my mum let me roam the streets and play in the park on my own (across a big, busy street)… that’s another argument for another day. 😛

    • Tamzen Temple
      April 25, 2015

      Yes yes and yes to your vaccine statement. Smacking is something I just cannot do to my little one, I try other approaches myself as the thought of hurting a child when is something I could never do. I come from a town of 500 and we would roam for what seemed a long way but going back it wasn’t that far.. We’re talking a few Km away… things are different now to back in our day… Or my day at least.. Much has evolved with each generation. Thanks for your thoughts Ren.

  • Gael - The Vinyl Edition
    May 2, 2015

    Last night I read a magazine article about little Riley, the baby in WA who died from Whooping Cough (and/or resulting complications). Gut wrenching. And it made my blood boil. Riley should be alive. His parents should not have lost a child. It’s as simple as that.
    Do people really think governments (who are notoriously lousy with money for the good of the common man, regardless of political persuasion) would spend so much money, year after year making immunisations free if there wasn’t a bloody good reason?

    • Tamzen Temple
      May 2, 2015

      Tragic that little bub Riley. They should have not lost a child and should have not watched him suffer through it. All the conspiracy theories people have about the politicians making money through deals with pharmaceutical companies display how ridiculous their thought process is. Are they making deals with the vets also to give the vaxs to pets?? Thanks Gael.

  • Fran
    May 19, 2015

    Catching up on some back posts so leaving a comment to say, again, I enjoy your writing. It’s a shame that more of the anti vaccination mob don’t read the material on the net about the ex doctor, Andrew Wakefield, that started most of this – yes he has been struck off as his research has been discredited and found to be fraudulent. He made false claims that the MMR vaccine causes autism. Hope it is ok to leave a more serious comment on you tongue in cheek posting. Fran

    • Tamzen Temple
      May 20, 2015

      Love your comment and this is serious.. My blog is all about pointing out how ridiculous some serious situations have become so your point is totally appreciated. Thanks for that info Fran

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