The Guru’s Uncle Merv was visiting last weekend sporting a dubious new moustache. It was a poor effort and he asked if I could clipper it off. I eagerly agreed and clipped it away quickly before he changed his mind. I was sweeping it up and about to put it in the bin when this strip of hair began to speak to me.
Mo: Hey don’t do it Tamzen Temple. It’s me Mo.
Tamzen Temple: Hey Mo, we meet again. When will you learn?
Mo: Never! You should know I will always return to haunt you…..
Tamzen Temple: Anywho, what’s going on?
Mo: Not much at the moment now that you’ve removed me. I’m currently in between jobs. Before Merv I just finished up a stint with some guy Jack.. We didn’t really work well together toward the end.
Tamzen Temple: Really why not??
Mo: Well, he thought he looked cool but in all honesty, he looked better without me.
Tamzen Temple: Ya think? Actually if it’s the Jack I know I agree totally. It was actually me who encouraged him to get rid of it. Sorry I mean you.
Mo: Yeah, I didn’t want to say anything as I needed the gig but I looked crap on his face and it became obvious that he was using it as a means to pick up chicks. He did ok, but it was more of a novelty to get them there. Like they would come up and say, “cute mo, I wonder what a kiss feels like??” Then they would giggle, he’d take over with a few cheap lines and I could help him no more.
Tamzen Temple: Chicks like moustaches? He’s only like 20 years old, aren’t moustaches made for older people.
Mo: Listen, that’s discrimination. We don’t like to leave anyone out, young or old, male or female. Remember your great aunt?
Tamzen Temple: Which one? Oh, do you mean Aunt Shezza? Yeah, I used to run for the hills with that fuzz on her face. Scared me to death when she tried to kiss me with a mo and whiskers.
Mo: Yep. My bro spent his last years there with her on her upper lip. She did everything from waxing, plucking, shaving, laser and electrolysis to have him removed but he was one hard worker. He stayed ‘til the end.
Tamzen Temple: Right…. Thank goodness that’s dead and buried.
Mo: What your aunt?
Tamzen Temple: No your brother.
Mo: Heartless Tamzen Temple. What you have to remember is a Moustache is like a badge of honour. These young ones grow, or try to grow us, and think they’ve made it. Each hair has to be earned with experience, without that you have some spindly fluff that makes them look like a try hards. The mo does not maketh the man it only maketh him look more distinguished, wiser or ridiculously silly depending on the effort age and charisma the maneth haseth.
Tamzen Temple: Strange but wise words Mo.
The last time I saw Mo after that was when he stole the show at Eurovision winning with his friend Beardy. Of course Conchita Wurst helped with his and that elegant black dress and freaky singing. Ommm, peace and love to all the Larry, Curly and Moes in the world from the Temple xoxxo I often have to head out disguised as I have Temple followers chasing me asking me for advice. Sometimes I just want to be anonymous. It’s a burden and a blessing I wear being so wise and generous with my guidance. I ask you this, if moustaches were colorful would we love them more??? And do you think I am unrecognisable or drawing attention to myself by wearing a green moustache???
Photo credit: Albin Olsson: View photo source HERE
This was a Minterview
The Temple embraces all things hairy be it a moustache or beards and respect any hairy or no hair choice each person, male, female or hampster makes.
We got bragged about: click pic to read more